The hours in a day move faster now, I can't seem to get a decent amount of time to just...be. Enjoy a hobby before time skips away like a frog on holiday. Speaking of holidays, it's been two months plus since I've been at home for break and while I've been very satisfied and happy, I haven't accomplished or really performed any of my hobbies. I haven't drawn, I've hardly seen any anime. Well, not including animated series, I rewatched the avatar: the last Airbender series, Pantheon and I ended up watching K-pop demon hunters it's like the days just keep moving by, and although I am locked in where I currently work at, I hardly have spare time. I think procrastination and doom scrolling might actually be part of the issue here or I am just quite busy and exhausted. I have just a month left before I have to go to school. And whilst my plan for it has been backfiring on me, I decided that I will take a week or two off and just...be free. But then, what's the point of rest and the holiday if I can't even raise a few bucks by myself just because I wanted to relax.
I decided it was stupid and got to work immediately at the beginning of August. I doubt it'll exceed a week or some few days—this said break I'd decided to ultimately give myself. I'm very doubtful. I'm trying to lock in, I need the money and eventually, when I get it, and I'm finally comfortable, I can relax, glow and be happy. And this time, I'd be doing all that atleast financially stable for a teenager.
That just came out, I didn't mean to drift too far. I'd been stalling on writing reviews on some few things. Whilst I'm actively working elsewhere, I realized that I am slacking too much here. And I dislike it, I feel like a different version here. I feel like part of so much more. If that makes any sense.
And the holiday did bring me closer to some books in my tbr that I'd been stalling. I have read a total of 12 books since I've been at home. I love to sleep, love it so much, but there isn't lot of hours in the day anymore. It's going so fast, infuriatingly so.
And yet, I'm just glad I can eat without a budget. Preparing meals in college was affecting my soul. Sometimes, I'd just willing starve because for some reasons the kitchen decided to be far away.
This is me wondering where time is. Why it's going the way it's going. Why can't I pick up or meet up? What am I doing wrong. I'm almost done with the second book in the series and even though, it's taking some of my time—I don't mind. I don't regret. I don't know why I texted half of that I just did..I opened my notepad with the intention of writing a review and somehow, ended up here. Weird.
Thanks for reading.
Yeah right, time moving really fast nowadays. Just look how fast 2025 gone by, we only have few months before it ends and we'll say hello to 2026. New goals and new year resolution again, but, I really wish the time moving this fast is just as fast as saving money. I just want to do nothing and chill and relax while not thinking about the bills to come, the weekly budget, etc. Aigoooo.
But wait, you starve yourself sometimes? Nooooo, don't do that. Think about the bills if you get hospitalized. You can't afford that, we can't afford it. 🫠🫠
I jist want to do nothing too and not think of bills😔
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride: the one saying once read.
I get so lazy sometimes😔
See, I noticed you don’t review as much. I was thinking maybe it was the season as I have found myself in the same. I can’t review anything mostly because I haven’t read anything. Hehe. But see, just living in the present - which you seem to be doing well - is also another way to really live to the fullest.
I guess you are right. But what's the point of living when everytime reminds you of how utterly far from where you want to be is? Or how there's this constant thought throbbing in a way, at the back of your mind that makes you restless. Tbh, I slept better when I was in school. Cause then, I didn't really put much effort into working. I just focused on school and hive night time and I slept whenever and however cause at school i hardly read novels, so I wasn't really occupied. But at home, I want to do everything Ive starved myself of and I think I'm drowning in it
Hmmm. I have a name for this because it happens to me. I call it the Grind Mindset. You’re actively wired to be productive. That’s who you are. When you resist it, you seem to only cause pain for yourself. A lot of time wasted on the pain and uncertainty of what will happen because you aren’t using your programming. This is a good thing. This means you have it in you, you only need to make use of it and create balance. 🌹
You are right. A balance. How do I do that? Seems like hard work🫠😔
Yea,time. It isn't lazing around like me, too, so I get you. You were able to write and publish something, so that's good. I know you need to make money but don't forget to rest too. You are doing superbly well.
Thankyou for your kind words and I’ll try to rest, though I am very doubtful that’ll help but let’s see. Thankyou