Moving to a new and uncomfortable place is depressing.
I got my Nysc place of primary assignment (Ppa) on the 29th of last month but I resumed on Monday which was yesterday. My Place of primary assignment(ppa) is a very small school with very few facilities in the rural part of Ogun state, Nigeria. Initially, when I got there to submit my Ppa letter I pleaded with them to reject me but they refused. Aside from the fact that I was never a teacher, I don't have any passion for it (I don't want to use the word hate but it would have been a better adjective)
I told them im not interested in teaching but I guess they were short of staff so they decided not to reject me and told me they would try as much as possible to provide what I would need.
So, I resumed on Monday but due to the documentation process I came back late so I have to resume on Tuesday fully.
Let me tell you a little about my experience on Monday. After I got there and was done with the necessary documentation, I told them I would love to get myself situated in the new apartment. I wasn't optimistic about the place because I know it is a one-room apartment in a rural area so I expected less.
The man in charge told me they hadn't gotten a mattress that I would be sleeping on. He then told me to wait in one of the staff's
Workshop
I waited for more than 3 hours. I was stressed and uncomfortable, I just wanted to settle down, shower, and relax or probably sleep. But I waited then I called him that I would like to go back home and then I would come back tomorrow. Even though the transportation was expensive I didn't have a choice at that point.
He told me he was on his way that he had been all about me getting comfortable and that he bought the mattress already. So I waited until around 8 pm stressed. He came and showed me the room and the mattress he bought. I was relieved a bit at that point. I cleaned the place, laid the mat( what he called a mattress) and I freshened up. I later went out to the bus stop to get some toiletries and what I needed because I wasn't prepared.
As tired as I was I slept without must concern even though I knew the window and door were not secured.
I started fully on Tuesday, I was optimistic because I was expecting a roommate and also I already had my day planned out. I got to the School, I teached which was stressful, I lost my appetite that morning because there was no good food around. So I had to work on an empty stomach that morning . During the break, I had to buy food from the school caterer even though her food was horrible and she sells only rice, beans, peas-size beefs, and egg. I was unable to finish the food because my taste buds wouldn't let me, I just had to eat because I was hungry.
I already made plans to watch my clothes after school because I brought only a spare T-shirt which I already wore. I also plan to get groceries, a few clothes and toiletries, and most importantly an insecticide and disinfectant.
After School , I got back to the place and decided to rest a little and use my phone but after a while, I ran out of data, I dropped my phone and looked around I didn't know where this depression came from, and I started crying and everything just irritated me, it made me feel like I wanted to just disappear. I was unable to carry out my plans, to get a recharged card outside, to go get something I wanted to eat. I felt alone, I just wanted to leave this place, I was depressed, sad, and hungry and I didn't know why I was starving myself.
I just wish I had another place to go to, or someone should just walk in or maybe go home because I don't think I can take in all that is happening to me. I thought of leaving and at the same time I felt like I couldn't just go after the effort the school made to make me comfortable but I guess their effort was not enough, I just wanted to go home or maybe serve another year cause I a literally trying to survive the night. All crazy thoughts like maybe I don’t deserve a good place and a lot of regrets. These thoughts kept coming into my head then I decided to write them down if it could relieve me a bit but now that I'm done writing, I'm still depressed, sad, and hungry.
How do you deal with depression?
Thank you for reading ❤️
All images are mine
Nb: place of primary assignment is a place or organization where nysc wants you to serve nigeria. If you want know about nysc read my blog
Ohhhh dear I am so so sorry, can't you complain to your zonal inspector on the grounds of insecurity? I remember when I got posted to a school like this but I had to fight my way out there.
Please don't be depressed, just hang in there ok?
#dreemerforlife
I already complained, I'm going home today. They promised to fix it before Monday
Thanks for reading and I'm better now ❤️
I'm so sorry about this!
Please, don't be depressed 🙏🙏
Your post made me remember when I was posted to Bauchi State to serve. From the pack, I cried till I got to the camp. At the gate, I refused to enter because the hot sun was just too much and many people were under the sun just to get their kits.
What about camp food, I refused to eat when I saw multiple big flies jumping over the food and the Hausas cares not🤔 and I became so thin but I manage to scale through.
A lot to be said...
Please, try to make yourself comfortable and be free with your mind.
Thank you so much, I'm really trying to
Nysc needs to consider our mental health when posting 💔. I should have considered ghosting it at the beginning but I was too optimistic 😭
Hey, how are you now?
Has anything improved -the loving conditions and your mood, I mean?
Had the said roommate arrived?
I guess you feel how you do because you're in a new environment that you're not conversant with. Coupled with being far from your loved ones.
I hope you don't get depressed. Hang in there. Try to make the best of the moments there. Explore as you can. Brush aside the negative thoughts on the downsides of that environment and just enjoy all of the goodies there.
You'll be fine. It's a phase and soon, you'll get past it.
Stay safe @rayoo
#dreemerforlife
No, I don't have a roommate yet but I'm ok now, that's the lemon life gave me and I'm going to make so much lemonade from it, you'll see.
I'm actually over it. I'm hoping for the best
Thanks for your encouraging comment ❤️
Wow! This is tough :-(
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. It seems less than ideal. The lack of teachers in Nigeria has become a crisis. So many unqualified individuals have to teach at the whim of the state regardless of whether or not they find joy in doing so. Your accommodation looks a little worse for wear. Hopefully, they will repair it to a satisfactory standard by the time you have to return. I think once your housemate arrives, it will make things more bearable as you will have some company. Praying that you will hit it off with them! !LUV !ALIVE
I found your post on Dreemport this evening.
#dreemerforlife
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I don't have a housemate yet but I'm better now. I will try to make the most of it. And it is just for a year, I think I will survive
Thanks for your comment, it really means a lot to me
🤗 Hugs xx
🤗Thanks