That's definitely not a weakness! Good artists NEED that eye for detail.
Jamie said he'd like to be remembered that way too. He always notices birds and elements of nature that others don't. When I read this to him in bed the other morning, to my surprise he said he'd like it read at his funeral. Awho says physicists can't enjoy or be moved by poetry!
So, Holosaurus, what I really want to know is .. did you like it appreciate the poem?
I felt it could have had a slightly better flow, it was a touch awkward in terms of its structure or pacing, but then again, I didn't read it out aloud.
Appreciation in its meaning and intent were certainly achieved.