where do we draw the line between accommodating for the fact that all people generally are different in the way they think and act and allowing it to be used as an excuse for them to get away with behaving terribly towards other people
The thing I always said is it's a reason not an excuse. Someone might be an arsehole because of whatever but that doesn't mean they're absolved from apologising for their behaviour (if they realise later or it's pointed out to them) and doing better (and not making excuses about why it's the other person's problem but a lot of people do that).
These days everyone seems to want to class themselves as being ADHD or on the autism spectrum
I think your follow on sentence about finally having answers for at the time inexplicable behaviour patterns/straight up not understanding some things/etc is very much a thing. In some cases I feel that people just claim such because they view other people diagnosed (professionally or self) getting "special" treatment and want in on that, or they're looking for a free pass to be a dick (I feel like everyone has had that friend or at least seen either in meatspace or online that one person or even several people who are obnoxious and when called out cry about it being their autism/adhd and they can't be held accountable and you're ableist if you do).
My theory is that in western culture we are awkward not because of neurodivergence, but because we've become so far removed from our community dynamics
Hard agree. We do the rock up at houses of friends/family that we're close with like we own the place too and jump right in to help, and we also have to explain it to new friends to the house if they're not used to it or used to people who are not used to it.
I tend to comment as I'm reading and then I got partway down and saw you drew the same conclusions XD
Random thoughts going on random journeys are the most entertaining (or the most time consuming sometimes).
I also skimed the comments and saw one that mentioned chatting over a fence, can't do that much anymore they're too damn high. One of our neighbours called over the fence the other day because she needed help with something and she had to stand on a tree stump or something that was on her side to look over XD
Not just me then. You'd think if they really were that rare that is neurodivergent few of us would know one or encounter one. I feel like more and more people I know are jumping on the bandwagon, and I'm an introvert, so I don't even know that many people...
The only person who does that is my mum and is a recent thing, I think trying to recapture the community dynamic of her childhood. The problem is her "help" isn't generally very helpful. The NDIS cleaning company I work for is a family venture. They gave a huge house, lots of mostly adult kids and the house is never locked, so you just walk in when you need to pick stuff up or drop it off. This was terrifying for me at first, especially as I had minimal information like, "just drop it in the office" and I had no idea where that was. It turns out it's also their bedroom. 😳 I'm still not entirely comfortable going in there.
We can just about manage to peek over the fences. I still feel like I'm hearing disembodied voices when a neighbour tries to get my attention, though. It takes me a while to find the head peering over.
Some of it is a more awareness thing, and some of it does very much seem to be a jumping on the bandwagon thing. I freely admit to being extremely judgemental of anyone who uses it as a crutch/excuse x_x
I think people don't like going into other people's bedrooms (especially adults) because you know what kind of things can go on in bedrooms xD
even though on a pure technicality nothing of the sort is necessarily restricted to a room
LoL XD
The boss man drive trucks, sometimes through the night so he'll sleep during the day. I was talking to the boss lady at the office desk one day, hear his voice behind me and turn round to see him getting out of bed in his undies.
I can see how that would be a bit startling XD
I would not have noticed the undies thing unless someone said something and would have been more like OMG I'M SORRY I WOKE YOU UP
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