This is an incredible post to reflect, thank you for it. I loooove dwelving on those things, as you might have noticed on my blog.
See, as a very earlier social anxiety user, I agree with you. We can totally blame technology for that, and I expect loneliness statictics to grow even more. This is because fear is a brain mechanism to avoid danger, which results of constantly driving us in our comfort zones. The moment the brain found a replacement for socialization it deemed REAL socialization as dangerous, because people can be nasty but it hurts less when we are not both present in the same place. Less overwhelming for the senses, so to speak. But, turns out, behaving in "fear will" makes fear stronger. The body is very efficient this way... if you use the same feelings over and over again they become stronger. So more and more time goes by, socialization seems even... inapropiate.
Everyone assumes you don't wanna talk because you don't know each other. As we cope with our socialization needs with technological replacements we feel we don't have to risk an actual conversation, where we might get exposed or hurted, or share something someone might use against us. In a chat you can hide everything, choose your words carefully and give the perfect impression you always want to give.
It's almost like talking is some sort of privilege. And is getting harder because in that ground we are competing with enterteiment, so we are less tolerant, less willing to hear, less capable of boredom and patience. We always want a delightful conversation... In a society that less and less practice how to socialize. So see, we are competing against our overgrown pleasure and fear centers here. Socialization is not a strong source of pleasure for many, or dopamine stimulative, so extroverts are the ones who keep it alive as they naturally enjoy it more and further. As socialization is useful to build trust, they tend to be more succesful. For those who don't find it pleasurable enough, fear feels stronger until we feel lonely and then we are paralized by not having developed the necessary social skills to find a mate and an overgrown sense of fear.
Before, it was imposible to not have social skills because without technology or electricity, you would need to practice. As you practice you become better. As you become better your results improve. In this state, as you know you are good and your mind relate socialization with reward (because you are good at it) you wouldn't renounce to it even in the face of a seemingly better solution, like technology. So I get why older generations complain. They are so good at something no one seems to be doing anymore, but it is still vital, for we can still feel there's a lacking in technology interaction and we are not getting joyful out of it, but rather stressed and fearful.
Sorry for the long comment, can't help it! Haha. Cheers ~
Hello, nice to meet you. I'm not into reading lots of blogs these days. While when I read of extroverts I recalled this quote and wanted to share it with you. I've written more in another comment thread down here. Cheers
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I love being at peace too but, turns out my peace is too fragile, as I am easily offended by rejection signs. We humans reject things all the time, so you can see why I am socially anxious. Working on it with a psychologist though. Having results from practicing mindfulness and emotional processing, as it makes my fear center less reactive and as such, and I am not so easily paralized anymore by it, which over time has helped me enjoy social interactions more.
I can completely relate. Makes me recall this one with Marshall Rosenberg
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Don't apologies for long comments. I love reading people's perspectives and the conversations sparked.
There are some great perspectives here on the fear and comfort side of things. I've often wondered why the less social interactions we have the more we avoid them. Yet when we push through that discomfort we are much happier for those interactions.