I would be lying if I said I've never been pressured. A lot of people goes through it, even when they act like they don't. For me, it started in school - that quiet voice in my head that kept comparing me to everyone else around me. I used to overthink how I dressed to class, how I looked, what people thought of me, and how the girls who always seemed "up to date" would see me.
You see, peer pressure doesn't always come as someone saying, "Do this". Sometimes it's just being around people who seem to have it all together - better clothes, better phones, better everything - and you start feeling like you're left behind. I used to worry about how I appeared, how i walked in class and even how I spoke. I wanted to "fit in". I wanted to be noticed too. But deep down, it was exhausting. Then one day, I just got tired. Not tired like in a dramatic way, just tired of pretending. I realised that constantly trying to measure up to someone else's life only made me smaller in mine. And the truth is, being pressured because of what your friends have or how they live only leads to envy - and envy slowly eats away your peace. It’s like letting your food go cold, while watching someone else’s food.
I kept telling myself that I needed to relax and also appreciate where I am.
I stopped dressing up for people who probably don’t even give me a second glance, measuring what I have with someone else's highlight reel and also acting like I was in a competition with everyone around me.
I have always tried to avoid any friendship that starts to feel like a competition. I consider a friendship toxic for me, if I cannot be happy for my friends without feeling small around them. Same way it is if they cannot be happy for me without feeling small.
I have come to learn to be contented, happy and confident with what I have. One thing’s for sure – they will always be someone doing better than me and someone will always have the latest phone, nicer outfit or a bigger circle of friends. None of that defines me. It’s how I treat people, stay true to myself and grow at my own pace that matters to me.
It has been long since I felt pressured. I just remind myself of something and that’s, comparison is the thief of joy. I cannot exactly remember where I read this.
The more I focused on other people, the less I see the good in my life. So I celebrate myself, even the small things. Passing an exam I thought I'd fail, saving money instead of trying to spend it on the latest stuff, or even saying "no" to something that doesn't feel right for me.
My other approach is simple: I pause and ask myself, "If I do this, will I respect myself later?" That one question saves me a lot of unnecessary guilt. Peace of mind is better than temporary acceptance.
The thing is, there’ll always be peer pressure, it’s how we approach and handle it that matters. I choose peace over popularity. I choose growth over competition. And also, I choose to be happy with not fitting in everywhere. I'd rather be real and happy with myself than fake and exhausted while trying to be someone else.
Thanks for reading...
Inviting @empress6, @oluchi31 and @delightedpen to participate in this week's prompt.
I love your approach, it shows maturity and explores the cores of what really matters in life... talking of authenticity, confidence, self-respect and the likes...
Thanks for sharing.
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Linesss😂
This is beautiful Kri💕. Learning to accept you for who you are, and not what others think of you is something we all need in life. There’ll always be someone that has better than you do, so comin to terms with that and appreciating life for what it’s worth, is the best thing an individual can do for themselves.
When we actually come to understand and realise that, while we have people who are going to do better than us, there are those we are better than, too, only by this would we feel at peace within us and never allow comparison to steal our peace and identity. Peer pressure, when given in makes us lose our self-identity and then we become slaves being pushed around and wanting everything at all costs. Glad you discovered yourself and saw the real person you are.