!Te lo dije, pero tu...! ¿realmente ayuda? / I told you, but you ...! Does it really help?

in Catarsis3 years ago
A todos nos gusta tener la razón cuando hablamos, pero hay una situación en la que resaltar que teníamos la razón no ayuda en nada, y es cuando otro comete un error y sufre las consecuencias de ese error. Imaginemos cuanto dolor emocional le podemos causar a alguien que tiene un problema y que de paso le estamos recalcando constantemente que fue su culpa, que ya se lo habíamos dicho. Es cierto, puede que le hayamos advertido con buenas intenciones, pero no tiene nada de productivo ni reconfortante echar en cara que teníamos la razón, porque tal vez la intensión ahora no sea tan altruista o bien intencionada, tal vez en el fondo lo que queremos es disfrutar el momento de superioridad que nos da haber tenido la razón. Creo que lo más bondadoso sería ayudar a la persona a enmendar su error o aliviar el dolor producido, así se dará cuenta de cuanto le apreciamos y tal vez, sin exigir que sea así, más adelante nos escuche con atención y ponga en práctica el consejo. Ahora bien, si es un problema recurrente y buscado que el otro ha sufrido por terquedad o desafío a la autoridad, entonces lo más conveniente sería dejar que aprenda del error por el mismo, pero sin recurrir al popular: ¡Yo te lo había dicho, pero no me hiciste caso!, porque si no vamos a colaborar entonces no debemos darnos la autoridad de opinar. ¡Claro!, esto pudiera sonar fuerte desde el punto de vista emocional, pero el amor sincero hacia una persona nos invita a tratarlo con misericordia, compasión y respeto, independientemente de si nos escucha o no. No es cuestión de apoyar o alentar un mal proceder, es cuestión de entender que si le ayudamos a pensar mejor las cosas, actuar mejor y rectificar pudiéramos ayudarle a salvar la vida o reputación a un ser querido, mientras que si le reprochamos el popular ¡yo te lo dije!, ¡ahora no vengas a pedir mi ayuda!, lograremos que se sienta tan inútil e incapaz que tal vez nunca quiera cambiar, y hasta nosotros habremos contribuido a eso. Por eso, nunca le reprochen a un ser querido que está enfermo por terco, que se buscó el problema, solo ayúdenlo, hagan lo que este a su alcance, acompáñenlo porque no sabemos en realidad cuantas cosas hemos hecho nosotros que nos autodestruyen, como abusar del café, el alcohol, las grasas, el azúcar, mantener un vicio, conducir velozmente, trabajar sin implementos de seguridad, ser altaneros en la calle, hasta ser sedentarios, o vivir estresados llenos de actividades, y a ninguno de nosotros nos ayudaría que cuando nos lleguen las consecuencias de esos malos hábitos nos digan: ¡yo te lo dije!, ¡yo no te mande a ser así!
We all like to be right when we speak, but there is a situation in which highlighting that we were right does not help at all, and that is when another makes a mistake and suffers the consequences of that mistake. Imagine how much emotional pain we can cause someone who has a problem and that we are constantly emphasizing that it was their fault, that we had already told them. It is true, we may have warned you with good intentions, but there is nothing productive or comforting to show that we were right, because perhaps the intention now is not so altruistic or well intentioned, perhaps deep down what we want it is enjoying the moment of superiority that gives us having been right. I think the kindest thing to do would be to help the person correct their mistake or alleviate the pain produced, so they will realize how much we appreciate them and perhaps, without demanding that it be so, later on they will listen carefully and put the advice into practice. . Now, if it is a recurring and sought-after problem that the other has suffered due to stubbornness or defiance of authority, then the most convenient thing would be to let him learn from the error himself, but without resorting to the popular one: I had told you so! But you did not pay attention to me! Because if we are not going to collaborate then we should not give ourselves the authority to comment. Sure, this may sound emotionally strong, but sincere love for a person invites us to treat him with mercy, compassion, and respect, regardless of whether he listens to us or not. It is not a matter of supporting or encouraging wrongdoing, it is a matter of understanding that if we help you think things better, act better and rectify things, we could help you save the life or reputation of a loved one, while if we reproach you with the popular ¡ I told you! Now don't come to ask for my help! We will make you feel so useless and incapable that you may never want to change, and even we will have contributed to that. For that reason, never reproach a loved one who is sick for being stubborn, that the problem was sought, just help him, do what is within your power, accompany him because we do not really know how many things we have done that self-destruct us, how to abuse from coffee, alcohol, fats, sugar, maintaining a vice, driving fast, working without safety implements, being haughty in the street, even being sedentary, or living stressed out full of activities, and none of us would help us when If the consequences of those bad habits come to us, tell us: I told you so! I didn't order you to be like that!
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