As I grow older ,I keep learning and learning, if there is one thing I have strongly believed before and now get change of thinking about it ,it is "pleasing people" you know, our parents can't teach us everything, they can't predict all what we will encounter on our journey of life, even somethings we were told aren't so true to us until we experienced it ourselves,makes us see for ourselves the consequences of our actions and acts therefore the deep meaning of that act and advise.
The people that don't know how to say no,alot of time, they are generous and nice and enjoy pleasing people...and then over time they learn that saying no is not a bad thing ,that it does not make you a selfish person, you deserve to be generous to yourself too ,it is good to get the balance in everything. It took me years to realize this , I was a "people pleaser" I'm always agreeing to people,I don't like conflict,I don't wish to be on someone's bad side, I always want try to get along with everybody, I always want to put people at ease.
People took my kindness and caring for stupidity, people use it against me, they try alot of shit with me, seeing that I don't like to be in conflict with people. They know it's always difficult for me to say "No" so,they use that against me . It took me many years before I could realize that I have been wrong all this time. Don't get me wrong, I do not say being kind and caring is bad but one should also develop a character that can bite back when bitten, though not more than necessary but also not less than necessary.
It is good to be an agreeable person but make being agreeable the true north of your moral compact,that's the real trap . Life is too short to be a people pleaser especially to manipulate and abusive people.
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