Being Meticulous.
From a very young age, I and my siblings were made to understand that carelessness with one's possessions had consequences. We were taught to always take proper care of our belongings, and it depends on others to do that.
I remember when I misplaced my fancy food flask back in primary school. For a whole week, my mom used disposable plastic to package my food, but she finally got a new one. I feel embarrassed, and since that day, I have been extra careful with my things.
Most parents nowadays literally do not have the time to instill some of these values in their kids.
Being Kind
It is said that the smallest act of kindness creates a great ripple effect. I've witnessed my parents extend love and kindness to strangers so easily without holding back. We were taught to also be kind to everyone we meet, not just to people we know. And while at it, we should not do it because we expect anything in return, but because showing kindness is an important human virtue.
Taking Responsibility and accountability.
My siblings and I were taught the importance of taking responsibility for our actions at all times. And not to blame someone for our actions and inactions. It was easy to learn and practice because my parents always apologise to us whenever they are wrong, unlike most African parents, who would never apologise for being wrong. Some even believe that an elderly person can never do wrong, and even when they do, the younger one should not expect an apology from them.
Showing Respect
I and my siblings were raised and taught how to show respect at all times, not minding the age. Everyone deserves respect, not just the older ones. Some parents demand respect from strangers like their lives depend on it, while others tolerate their kids being so disrespectful that I cannot seem to wrap my head around it. For someone who loves being respected, I expect them to instill that same value in their kids. I am glad my parents did that.
House chores is not gender-based.
The social media has been on fire with debates on whether house chores should be done by males or females. Why is it an issue for a grownup to clean the house where they live or even prepare a meal that he or she would eat? I can't seem to wrap my head around it. Growing up, my parents taught us that house chores should be done by everyone and not based on gender.
My mom had a duty rooster for house chores for myself and my elder brothers. I watched my dad enter the kitchen to prepare meals for us, either alongside his wife or alone when my mom was not around.
What I disliked about my upbringing
My upbringing, which I did not like and would not want to replicate in my kids, is the fact that my parents didn't really give us the opportunity to acquire a skill or develop our talents. It was more academic.
They felt doing both at the same time would affect our performance in school; hence, they never allowed it. I discovered that I could make hair in secondary school. I had some of my seniors begging to pay for my friends hairdos so I could make theirs, but my parents never gave me the opportunity to go and learn from a professional to improve my skills during the holidays. My parents felt it was going to distract me and affect my performance.
Two-piece outfit made by my humble self.
They never knew I continued making hair for my friends and seniors in school. After secondary school, I lost interest and decided to just focus on my studies instead. The tailoring skills I learned were acquired after I graduated from the university, and this was because my tailors were either sewing oversized or undersized dresses for me because of my petite stature.
From my experience and with the way the world is revolving now, I promise to support and guide my kids to improve their talents or even acquire any skills of their choice while they also study.
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you had aan amazing upbringing and one that was led by an example. Your dad really showed that. Perhaps they thought that learning hairstyle was not befitting but glad you have realized and made decisions to let your kids have some skills. Good write up
Thank you for your kind words, I am honoured.
You're most welcome