You are viewing a single comment's thread from:

RE: Are you supporting the top 20 witness who is publicly pushing for the exinction of the human race?

in Informationwar2 years ago

Hello,

your comment aroused my interest and I would like to refer to what you said. As it looks to me, you seem to mix "the world" with your personal experiences.

in a world where the social norms of our society encourage, support and even demand us to reproduce.

It is perfectly fine to remain childless or to have children, it is an intimate decision and shall remain so. If it was "even demanded of you" to have children, I ask: who demanded this of you? What consequence did you have to suffer or endure because you did not comply with this demand? Did you become unemployed because of it, were you threatened with prison, were you excluded from your family because of it?

Nowadays, at least in the (so called modern) societies I know and have personally visited, the decision to remain childless leads to the following: Nothing.
At the most, you have to put up with snickers in private debates or make yourself unpopular or argue within a family who, for example, is big. But if that's enough to publicly claim that childlessness is not socially accepted, then that's very far-fetched.

As long as you are not forced by your government and/or your fellow human beings to remain childless or to have a certain number of children, your criticism of the incentives or encouragement to have children seems a bit over the top. You can safely ignore these incentives and encouragements and therefore not become a social outcast.

It becomes dangerous when the law interferes with your decision to the extent that you do not have free choice over yourself and your body.

The current trend and the events of the last few years are not exactly pointing in the direction of free choice, and the pressure is clearly felt by everyone. It may even become very popular to remain childless and it may happen that the laws change and childlessness is favoured. The air smells of it.
Against this background I don't see why you mention that

it's mostly a social support structure for people who decide they cannot, in good conscience, have children...

As if it wouldn't be socially accepted in modern societies that tend to have fewer children than ever before, a large proportion of people live as singles (at least here in Germany), not even in a relationship, but alone in their homes. The stats show that in some clarity if you bother to look at them for your country. There you can see a trend.

Being a parent and receiving some benefits for having children: Do you find that unfair?

Greetings to you.

Sort:  

Well, I didn't set out here to complain about the hard life of a childfree person or to draw any comparisons to the hardships of other groups, really. In general we mostly complain and joke amongst ourselves about first-world problems, though there are sometimes some serious issues which arise. The "demands" are mostly social, in the form of peer pressure, judgement, and discrimination from family, friends, and colleagues. Here are a few examples of "demanding" behaviour and other issues which are discussed often in childfree spaces:

  • A parent, sibling, or friend consistently asks a childfree person when they're going to provide them with a grandkid, niece/nephew, etc. Occasionally this crosses the line into serious toxicity and even assault. I recall reading one account of a crazy mother-in-law sneaking into a couple's room and poking holes through their condoms.
  • This is actually a pretty alarming one to me: healthcare providers sometimes refuse certain elective procedures (for example vasectomy, tubal ligation) to those who are not "old enough to make that decision." (This happens to adults who are in their 20s and 30s.)
  • Believe it or not, there really are people who seem to think people who are childfree by choice are selfish, greedy, or even evil. The author of this post we're commenting under just attacked someone's character for claiming membership in a childfree organisation.
  • Constant invalidation of their experiences by parents on the grounds that a childfree person cannot possibly be as exhausted/happy/fulfilled/worried/anguished as they are: "You don't know true love until you have a child. Tired?! You don't know what tired is, until your baby cries all night for an entire week. All of your problems now will seem so small when you eventually decide to have children."
  • A childfree individual is often expected to take on an increased workload at their job because they don't have kids so they "must have the time." Those with children tend to get a free pass at their expense.
  • In general, society seems to bend over backwards to ensure the safety and welfare of children, no matter what the cost to responsible adults. This can be very annoying, and we like to grumble about it amongst ourselves the way one may complain about the rainy weather or rush-hour traffic.

Again, I didn't set out with the intention of making a big deal about these issues, but I've listed them so you can understand that there is indeed a shared set of experiences among childfree individuals which lends itself to the development of support systems.

To answer your question about benefits: I understand why a society would want to provide soft incentives to bear and raise children. Incentives like tax breaks, benefits, etc. To the extent that I support the existence of a government at all, I do not personally take any serious issue with these things. If you are able to receive financial help for raising your children, I am happy that you and they are well. I don't see that as unfair to me. I see it as an investment in the future of society.

Loading...