There was a time in my life when I let my emotions take the wheel. I made a decision based fully on how I was feeling at the moment, and to be honest, I regretted it. Looking back now, I don’t know whether to laugh or shake my head. But one thing is for sure it taught me something I won’t forget in a hurry.
It happened a few years ago when I was working at a small office here in Abuja. It wasn’t a bad job, but it was stressful. The pay wasn’t much, the boss had mood swings like weather, and there was this one coworker who always made things harder than they needed to be.
That day, I woke up tired. You know those mornings when you just want to stay in bed and disappear? That was how I felt. I got to work late, and as usual, my boss started shouting though I had the plan of telling a lie just to calm the situation but he didn’t even let me explain Just shouted, pointed fingers, and said things that really got to me. I felt embarrassed in front of everyone.
I was boiling inside. I just sat down quietly, but my heart was beating fast. I was angry, sad, tired everything at once. When I saw that the man was still shouting around the office, without thinking too much, I stood up, walked to his office, and said, “I’m done. I quit.”
Just like that. No plan. No savings. No new job waiting. I just said it and walked out. At that moment, I felt powerful. I thought, “Yes, I showed him.” I felt like I had taken back my respect. But let me tell you, by the time I got home, reality slapped me.
I started thinking, “Okay, so what now?” My rent was due in two months, I had no backup plan, and Abuja is not a place where you just find jobs like biscuits on the road. I spent the first week feeling bold like I had done the right thing. But by the second week, I started panicking. I applied for jobs, but nothing was coming in. People kept telling me “we’ll get back to you,” and of course, they never did. The truth was, I had acted out of anger. I let that one moment of frustration push me into making a big decision that affected my whole life.
I remember one afternoon, I was sitting on my bed, looking at my small bag of garri, and I just laughed, Not because anything was funny, but because life had humbled me. I started regretting it deeply. If I had just held my emotions that day, maybe I could have stayed at the job while looking for something else. But no, I let anger win.
After some weeks, I had to start doing small businesses, I have one area sister who owned a shop along the street, so I would make zobo drinks, Tigernut, plantain chips, and coconut chips and keep them in her shop for people who are interested in buying, I was doing this just to survive. It wasn’t easy, but it kept me going until something better came along. After almost five months, I finally got another office job. It wasn’t perfect either, but this time, I told myself I would not let emotions control me like that again.
Since then, I’ve learned that it’s okay to feel things deeply, but it’s not every time you act on those feelings. Especially when the feeling is hot like anger, sadness, or frustration. That’s when it’s better to just breathe and wait. Now, when I’m upset, I try to pause. I’ll drink water, go outside for fresh air, or talk to someone I trust. Even if the situation is bad, I try to think it through before making a move. Because emotions can be loud, but they don’t always tell the truth.
If you’ve ever decided out of anger or pain, you’ll understand what I mean. Sometimes, we act fast, thinking we’re saving ourselves, but we end up making life harder. No shame in it because it’s part of growing up. That one experience taught me patience. I still get emotional, of course, I’m human. But now, I try to have a rethink first before I let my emotions push me.
LinkThis is my response to day 12 of the #Aprilinleo daily prompt. If you wish to join this prompt then you can click on this
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There's always that one worker truly, don't know how and why though, haha.
Honestly, when we make such decisions, the hormones pumping would certainly make you feel like that superhero, and you would just feel yourself. But reality always comes around, and in such cases it comes carrying shockwaves and reminders. It's always right that we don't act at the instincts of our emotions. We need to be calm and analyse the situation, take some precautionary before taking an action.
Such a raw and honest post. It really shows how emotions can lead us somewhere painful. Thanks for sharing your story!
Thank you
Sometimes we let anger push/control us, and later we will regret it. But I respect how you still managed to survive and stand up again. Life no easy, but your experience is a big lesson. Thanks for sharing.