A long time ago, when I first started working, I thought that work was a way to self-actualize. In other words, I was working to express myself, what I liked and what I wanted in my work. But, after a while, I realized that work has many twists and turns.
I tried to build what I liked and what I was good at. I also started to think about actualizing my strengths. From there, I began to dare to build dreams. What was my dream? I wanted to own my own media outlet.
But, I buried that idea for a while. I thought about my work. It felt like my passion had disappeared. My sense of thinking had become embedded in the mission and vision of the institution I worked for. But, it turned out, that didn't bring satisfaction. After a long time working, I felt something was missing. The media outlet I wanted to build was very different from what I had imagined.
I started to get frustrated. I lost my direction and my dreams. I took a break for a few months. This year, after the middle of the year, I started to think again about dreaming and building what I wanted, building on the existing foundation. I'm reassembling what I have, my strengths, and my dreams.
Since then, it feels like I've come back to life. The foundation I built is still just a fragment. Perhaps, if you imagine me, I'm still building the foundation of a house. The floor isn't visible yet. My goal is to start rebranding the media I built with Shutterstock earnings by the end of the year.
Shutterstock has become the foundation for my learning about photography and video. I'm deepening my narrative, so the media I've built can live on. I'm also looking at the opportunities and obstacles posed by the regulations of the country where I live. Indonesia experienced major demonstrations. Several alternative media outlets with foreign funding were attacked on social media.
I don't want that to happen. But fortunately, this time I'm not building it alone. This time, I have a partner who can think through these things. I can't wait to get started. That's all I can share about what I'm building. What do you think?
My name is Nurdiani Latifah. I live in Jakarta – Indonesia, and after 25 years I live in Bandung. I am a media staff at an NGO in Indonesia. I have worked in this institution for almost 2 years on issues of women and peace. I have been a journalist in Bandung for 3 years.
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Getting distracted from our dreams is normal but finding our way back in track is also very important.
Glad you're able to feel whole again
They say that two heads are better than one. You're on the right track since you have a partner with the same mindset working towards the dream 🫶
Sometimes to actualise a dream we need like minds and it is good that you have a partner that is willing to push you to actualise your dream.