.........that is if you let them. From my viewpoint as I sit quietly in my writing chair I ponder on how complicated life gets when events, comments or invitations are perceived by some individuals with hurt or negative feelings, rather than with understanding and positiveness.
Given that we humans are full of emotions it is my opinion that at one time or other we all act as the aggrieved, irrational and upset person. It is for me not a pleasant state to experience and I don't believe we like it when it happens.
All people come from their own viewpoints given their personalities, experiences, mindsets and feelings. It is complicated trying to deal with the feelings. Feelings always work on the principle of flux, they are forever changing and dependent on factors like, whether we like or respect the individuals involved, our physical state of tiredness, whether we feel listened to, respected and whether our opinion and contributions are understood and accepted.
The biggest downside with feelings is that they cannot be disputed as not being right, they are personal and very right to the individuals having them. It is not the same as dealing with facts that can be questioned and challenged. A feeling to another person is their personal truth and that in itself can be impossible to argue if they hang on to the feelings, especially if they are misconceived and out of proportion.
I don't know anyone who can honestly admit that he/she has not acted on hurt, negative or upset feelings. It is who we are, humans are full of a emotions ranging from rational to irrational. Who has not acted in the heat of the moment, who has not perceived a situation with feelings of hurt and who has placed the blame on another and not been willing to talk through the negative feelings etc? There is a long list of scenarios.
Is it possible to fix this kind of situation? To effectively influence misplaced feelings of another person?
It is my opinion that this is wholly dependent on the relationship one has with the aggrieved person, their willingness to solve the problem and their communications skills. It only takes an olive branch to start the healing process in the form of an apology for any miscommunication and ensuing upsets. Active listening, understanding, problem solving and solutions etc. While it is a problem with heightened feelings that have festered the fixing approach needs to be handled with logic and rationale. How long this process takes and how successful the outcome is dependent on not only the skill of the negotiator or fixer but the willingness of the aggrieved person to find solutions.
Misperceived feelings by individuals take place in families, in friendship groups and in the workforce. It makes sense to find acceptable solutions but in reality this is not always the case. That to me is a shame as that means relationships are irretrievably broken. I always like the idea that everything can be fixed if it is wanted badly enough. But then I am a pie in the sky kind of person.
Wishing you all well and hope your relationships are happy and uncomplicated ones.
Appreciate you for dropping by to read my post.
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The thoughts of a friend of mine who hasn’t spoke to her one sister for over a year comes to mind when I read your post. Neither one will break the ice and become close again after a silly disagreement.
I like your advice Angie,
So sad when this happens. Two of my sisters are I say that no matter what happens with all 7 of us siblings nothing is never so bad that we cannot forgive. Life is far too short.
Life is short! But, feelings and emotions differ. And it hard sometimes. 😐
Very difficult, emotions are so complicated for us mere humans. All the best @itsmiessyonpeaked🙏
Agree to that. Have a great day Angie! 🧡
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