”If you don't like something, change it!”
I suppose that's a truism many of us have heard over the years. And I wouldn't be too surprised if some of us have responded with words along the lines of ”Yeah, that's easier said than done!”
And whereas that's not really a good excuse, it is nonetheless a pretty valid statement. The reason being that instituting and maintaining real change is actually exceptionally difficult.
28 Days? Hah!
I once read an article in a psychology magazine which pointed out that it generally takes human beings about 28 times to change a habit. They offered up as an example that it would likely take a right handed man 28 days to learn to shave with his left hand. Being the curious at a person that I am, I of course went home and tried that very experiment… and discovered that it took me closer to six weeks (42 days) to be comfortable shaving with my left hand.
But that's only really part of the story, because as soon as the experiment was over I went straight back to shaving with my right hand because it just felt more natural.
And therein lies the problem we nearly all face when it comes to making major changes in our lives.
So what does this have to do with anything?
Well, the point I'm trying to make here, is it it's one thing to change something but it's quite another to maintain that change, as a permanent part of your behavior patterns.
Consider how many people you might know who got started on a diet and exercise program with the purpose of losing a certain amount of weight. And, in fact, they managed to stick to their program and lose the specified weight. BUT, once that was achieved they gradually slipped back into their old ways of eating less healthy foods and being more sedentary.
It's actually something that happens a lot to people who have been single for a while and decide they need to "buff up" in order to start dating and find a new partner... but soon enough (once partnered) they'll go back to being blobs on the couch again.
Change Comes From Within?
Perhaps with the exception of being told something like "Unless you eat healthy and get some exercise you'll be DEAD in a few months!" the old saying "change comes from within" definitely does hold true.
Most external reasons to change something, be it lifestyle, behavior or something else are generally insufficient to induce someone to maintain change. And that goes right down to changing because you love someone. That "looks convincing" on the surface, but unless that person you love so much shows continuous and ongoing appreciation, chances are it won't last. And even then, there's still no guarantee.
Consider how often things like "anger management," quitting smoking and learning to tidy up after yourself don't tend to last.
Sure, you're all hot to trot about making your house perfect and you create something that looks like it could be in a design magazine... but after a few months comes the first occasion where you do not stack the magazines perfectly at the end of the day... and it's all downhill from there.
For change to be lasting, we really have to want it for ourselves. And we have to want it with conviction. And that's not easy to come by... because so often we make changes because we feel we "should" and not because we authentically WANT to.
Thanks for reading, and have a great remainder of your weekend!
How about YOU? Have you ever made a "major change" in your life? Was it difficult? Did it last? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
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Created at 20210711 00:24 PDT
0295/1538
Conviction certainly IS hard to come by.
So many things I "should" change, but those changes feel really hard and I can't seem to quite get started.
Maybe tomorrow......