When you look at your life, are there certain things — habits, interests, routines, hobbies — that it seems like you have always been doing... and yet, they never seem to "get old?"
Without even particularly thinking about it, it seems like I have always been "recording things." I'm not talking music, here... I'm talking about "making a note of what happened," on certain days, at certain events; progress at certain activities I undertake. There was never any real purpose to this; no encouragement; no catalyst.
Sunset, California Hot Springs
My mom gave me my first "pocket diary" when I was nine years old. I'm not sure what exactly she had in mind, other than perhaps trying to teach me to be organized.
I never used that little "day-at-a-glance" calendar to remind myself of things that were going to happen (like when homework was due, or I had a stayover at a friend's house), instead I used it to keep a record of what had happened.
Every day, I'd dutifully record what the temperature was in the morning, what exact time I went to bed, which book I was reading, and how many pages and so on, and so forth.
When we would travel and move from place to place — which we frequently did — I'd make a note of every letter I wrong to family and friends back home, and how long those letters were.
Again, there was no particular inspiration, other than I thought it would be interesting to look back on, at a later point.
Fifty Years Later...
... I keep writing blogs, or journals, or whatever you want to call it. I also have a paper journal where I write all sorts of random stuff.
At times I wonder whether I'm a bit Obsessive-Compulsive and try to have a long hard look at the underlying psychology of what I'm doing.
I remember a conversation I had with my Auntie in Denmark, maybe some 25 years ago. It seemed like she "understood" on some level when she said something rather odd that still resonates with me: "I think it helps you remember that you actually EXIST."
Her words were a reflection of the concern she'd had for my mental well-being because we travelled around so much I never had a chance to form solid friendships or any sense of belonging to any place we were. She also once remarked (when I was about 17) "I am concerned that your spirit can't keep up with your body."
I shrugged it off, at the time, but I still remember those words, as clearly as if it were yesterday.
Of Records, Journals and Blogs...
"Don't you get TIRED of writing so much?"
Those words were definitely not my auntie's; those have been asked by a number of people, over the years... and the answer is no.
But — as the title of this post implies — when it stops being fun, I won't DO it anymore. I'm pretty good about not-doing things when they no longer entertain me.
Writing, blogging, journaling, recording things... they all feel very cathartic.
An interesting epiphany I had about a decade back is that my generally very calm and "Zen" demeanor in physical space around other people is connected to the fact that I regularly "empty" all the swirling thoughts and ideas inside my head into writing, and once I have "recorded" them, I can stop thinking about them, and my mind becomes very still and calm.
It's not exactly like a meditation, but serves a similar purpose and has a similar effect.
Eternally Seeking Stillness...
I wonder, at times, whether my somewhat frenetic childhood is the reason I grew up to become an adult who's always seeking stillness and "less" in terms of how I live and what I do.
Some people seem to thrive on lots of action and excitement and constantly doing things, and that was just never me. In most cases, my primary reason for doing was so I could GET done so I could resume a state of not-doing.
Here in the US — where the infamous "Protestant Work Ethic" still runs strong — that's often perceived as sloth and laziness.
Funny thing, that... considering that we refer to ourselves as Human BE-ings, rather than Human DO-ings!
This post is a bit of what I call a "Mind Walk," prompted by a visit to my HiveBuzz profile where I ascertained that in spite of my being told that I am writing "all the time" I have actually just post 18 of this month's 28 days... I'm really not that obsessive! Besides, I am still having fun!
And, in that strange way life works, this is not at all the post I set out to write...
Thanks for reading my self-indulgent ramblings, and have a great rest of your weekend!
How about YOU? Are there any things you do; any habit you have that have kept you interested for pretty much all your life? Are you pretty good at giving up a habit — even if it's quite ingrained — if it's no longer fun or rewarding? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
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Created at 20210227 21:54 PST
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At times I wonder whether I'm a bit Obsessive-Compulsive and try to have a long hard look at the underlying psychology of what I'm doing.
I was thinking just that , before I'd reached this part of the post....Zerrrry interesting young Mrdenmarkguy...
It obviously isn't a hindrance - even if 'it' is a thing - ...but a joy, so screw it, - who cares, matey!
As much as anything, I think it was just something to do. We were so often not in the same place for more than a few months, and we typically lived in high rises where there were no kids, and going outside by myself was "unsafe." So I found ways to entertain myself...
I'm trying to compare with myself - I lived miles away from anyone (on farm) - so was on my own - but I had lots to entertain me...(I never had a desire to keep any journals).
I've never been ocd with anything, tbh.
It's interesting, looking into your own noggin'....
Well, there's your difference.
On the occasions I was shuffled off to stay with my auntie instead of going with my parents, she lived on 24 acres of woodland and meadows... I never kept up with the journal or "recording" anything, because there were things to do and explore 24/7.
When I was trapped in my room in an apartment for four months... then I would frantically journal and "write things down."
Either way, seems like I've ended up being less of a fruitloop than a lot of the people I have met in life...
Ah, ok.
One mystery of life has now been cleared up !
....and being less of fruit loop while living in a goddamn insane asylum , is indeed a fine thing to notice about ones self.
Recording large events throughout my life is something I kept up, never a daily diary, that would be going overboard in my eyes.
Life is way too short to do anything you don't enjoy, except tasks you know have to be completed 😀.
It's entirely possible I should have been an accountant, archivist or something else "organizational" like that.
Difference is enjoyment when doing it for oneself, or employment doing it for others. Always a love/hate relationship being obsessive 😌 in anything.
There is so much here I can relate too..... but at this moment, can't seem to recognize a habit exactly that I've kept all along the way. Maybe there is one.... maybe more than one, I'm just not seeing it.
My childhood was nothing like yours, we moved only once when I was in the second grade and it was still in the same town.
"when it stops being fun, I won't DO it anymore. I'm pretty good about not-doing things when they no longer entertain me.".... so ME ! ....my Mom told me one time as an adult, that I could quit things I was into and go on to something else more completely than anyone she ever saw. ha ha.... it is true that when I am done with something, no matter how long it interested me, I'm on to the next thing, no looking back. When I've learned everything about something that I can and mastered it..... where is the draw to stay in/with it?
Although I have not been a prolific writer all along, I too found that writing down something that was vexing me, made it leave me alone. Way back I would hand write letters to people, telling them exactly what was on my mind, but of course with no intent to ever send it to them. It helped just to express it and get it out of my head.
I totally related to this......" In most cases, my primary reason for doing was so I could GET done so I could resume a state of not-doing." I need lots of quiet time to keep me content.
I don't naturally enjoy adrenaline highs. Instead of being exciting to me, it provokes something more like anxiety.... not exactly anxiety, but I don't know a better word. Therefore...... if someone needs some extra adrenaline, you can have mine... LOL !
Loved this post! It must be cool to be able to look back and see what you did at any age.
Sort of wish I had done this, as Lyme disease has trashed my memory. For the last 46 years I relied on my husband's memory. Now that's gone too.
I guess that's a little of why I post on the blog, so I'll have some memory...