When I was a kid, my parents (and often extended family) worried about my tendency to fondness for doing nothing.
In a general sort of sense, I was disinclined to engage in much of anything, and my mother was always concerned that I wasn't "tearing around and getting into things, like little boys are supposed to..." although I have little doubt that if I had actually been tearing around and getting into things she would have complained about that very thing...
... but that's a story for a whole different post.
Stones on the beach...
Whether it is characterized as "laziness" or just a natural ability to be thoroughly anchored in the current moment, I have always felt far more comfortable being than doing.
Which isn't to say that I don't "do" things, however... even as I am doing something, I am highly aware that I will soon come to the end and actually get more enjoyment from "having done" (from the perspective of contemplation) than the doing, itself.
A girlfriend of many many moons ago once asked me — slightly bemused — what I was doing, after she'd been watching me just sitting in a chair outside, watching the surroundings. In one of those rare moments where I find myself actually having an appropriate answer at hand, I replied "I'm immersed in the experience of EXISTENCE."
Surprisingly many people — from my mother to the current day — seem uncomfortable at the thought of "not doing." Somehow, they are bothered by states of non-doing.
I pondered that, this afternoon, as I stepped out the front door with nothing at all on my mind, other than having finished "doing" my eBay listings for a while, and just wanting to not-do for a while.
As I wandered very slowly through our garden, I considered the likely reality that I actually "do" plenty when I enter these non-doing states, but it's just that my sense of doing is quite different from the rather frenetic doing most people associate with the word.
For starters, I was carrying my camera — as I almost always do, when I wander around outside — so I was occasionally photographing things (although I had no plan or goal), the results of which typically end up illustrating the lines I write here.
I find it ironic that we value industriousness so highly, while there is a huge market for workshops, self-help books and seminars that teach people how to unplug, de-stress and relax!
Yes, that's a favorite conundrum of mine; I've written about it a few times before. It continues to baffle me, so I bring it back up for discussion, from time to time.
And so, here were are: It is Independence Day Weekend, here in the US of A.
I always have looked forward to this day as an excuse to not work, not do anything, and basically just sit around and chill the eff out.
My circumstances, however, have often dictated that this weekend be filled with "events and adventures," which — in the end — turn out to be anything but relaxing, and certain no example of "Doing Nothing."
This year, however, I feel like the Covid-related lockdowns and restrictions are working in my favor! And so, I feel quite hopeful that on this July 4th, I might actually get to DO NOTHING!
Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful Independence Day Weekend!
How about YOU? What are YOUR plans for the weekend? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for this platform.)
Created at 20200617 22:56 PDT
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It is amazing to get those rare moments when I get to do nothing. I do cherish those times and at my age, I don't really care what other people may think. I had a father who hated me sitting around doing "nothing". He would find plenty of work to keep me busy...
I also grew up with parents who felt that "idling" was pretty much akin to wasting life. As my mother would often say — if I came into the kitchen to see what she was doing — "if you can LEAN, you can CLEAN!"
And I learned to be very careful about how I replied to my dad if he found me idling... if I said nothing in response to "What are you doing?", chances are he'd send me off to mow the lawn or rake leaves.
As I have aged, I also find that I have strived to remove as many things as possible from my surroundings that require me to attend to them all the time. There's a lot of stuff I just don't need, and maintaining that stuff amounts to little more than busy work.
That's what it's all about :-)
It is indeed, @manorvillemike! And I think those of us who live with cats perhaps get a leg up in understanding the value of doing nothing!
A very fine example! And Happy Caturday to you and yours!
😊 Thanks
I am cursed with my fathers git er dun attitude.
I always feel the shoulda woulda coulda's when I just chill and relax.
It is a guilty type feeling, a feeling of loss. Like I let something (time) slip away.
Silly Right..?
I don't know that it's silly... I guess as long as we understand why.
My own dad was eternally moving because he'd been extensively schooled in idleness being a bad thing. The "problem" wasn't that he was doing things because he authentically wanted to get them done, but because he felt uncomfortable that there would be "ancestral voices" (for lack of a better word) that were judging him if he sat still... even if he wanted to sit still.
Yes this post hits me just right. There is a certain art to "doing nothing". Most people have a hard time with it, and actually have to learn how to do it properly. Thankfully I learned from some of my Southern relations how to enjoy simplicity and not have to have a bunch of distractions to enjoy the now. I might have to address this in a post as well. Thanks much for the idea.
Yes, it is a bit of an artform, I suppose. The thing I find both fascinating and disturbing is just how many people who were idling suddenly feel compelled to start doing something when I happen upon them... like being caught idling is akin to being caught with your hand in the cookie jar.
There's something ironic about it, too... because there's a billion dollar industry out there, teaching people how to relax, meditate and whatever... people PAY to do these things, yet view their natural outcome — stillness and no-thing — with skepticism and suspicion.
Humans are strange!
Doing nothing is actually a good time to reflect on our life. Regardless of good or bad, a time for ourselves to think is better than always busy without reflection.
!tip
In a way, that's one of the things about the whole Covid/lockdown experience that has been a positive: more time to just sit down and reflect on our lives. Which can be quite difficult for people whose natural inclination is to avoid looking within, instead keeping themselves constantly busy looking for things to do.
Thanks for the tip!
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