We have plenty of clay here. It is awful. Every year, I was putting 30 plus bags of Miracle Grow potting soil in the ground and mixed it with the clay. Eventually, it wins and the flowers grow nicely now. Also, you can always do a raised bed or hugelkultur. That might actually be nice. You could even build it. With man tools. :))
Oh! A Roman Victory Arch! Something I never knew I wanted until I did. I am sure I can find a victory that I need to be honored for.
Wheat in the raised bed!I know on the Eastern Shore, some grow winter wheat. I know you have probably considered it and decided not to for some reason, but, I think it might be easier to water and care for. You just want to be different with those buckets, "fess up!" All your neighbors are probably jealous!