I might not fully understand how you feel right now, but I have gone through few months ago...My beloved youngest sister diagnosed cancer for more than 1 year and couldn't survive. While mourning for her, my big uncle diagnosed cancer too. I couldn't believe it. It is a hard time for cancer patients and it is not Easy for their families. My prayers be with you.
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Thank you very much @miniu and so sorry for your lost.
We try to stay positive. The only thing now is to wait for the treatment to start.