I wanted to be an actress. Decades earlier I’d been a dancer, and had developed a love of the stage. Too old, now, to dance, I decided to try acting. Problem was, I knew nothing about it. Singing and dancing in a musical looked fun and easy. I figured I’d audition to be in the chorus. How hard could it be?
So, I asked a friend to suggest an audition piece. He knew I knew next to nothing, besides having had some music instruction in my youth, and he chose a very easy piece for me to sing. I thought, of course, that I knew more than he did (I was still young, all of a dozen years ago) and chose something else. A bossa nova. I worked on it at home, singing in the hallway. I printed out some sheet music that I kinda sorta knew was in my kinda sorta key. I thought had it down.
Until I was waiting with the other hopefuls, while the person whose turn it was for a “private” (everyone could hear) audition in the studio right next door was singing their hearts out. They all sounded good. Really good. I started to sweat.
It was my turn.
I could barely breathe as I stood before the director, assistant director, music coach, stage manager and music director, this last seated at a piano. I handed him the sheet music. He asked me a question I could not answer, then he started to play.
The only sound that came out of my mouth was a raspy peep. Maybe two. The pianist stopped playing. Someone said “Thank you.” I left that room and walked sheepishly back into the room where the others awaited their turns. I knew they’d heard everything. Or rather nothing.
It was time for the dance part of the audition, which I could do, or so I thought, as well as any of the others, even though I had a couple of decades on the oldest of the rest of them. I was probably wrong about how well I did.
The next morning I got the call. They wouldn’t be needing me.
I’ve gone on to take nearly ten years of voice lessons, and acting lessons. I’ve had some audition coaching. Despite all this preparation, my auditions have all been exercises in wiping egg off my face.
This is my response to @jaynie's Lifestyle Lounge Inspirations Week #12. It was written for the favorite fail option. Thanks for reading!
The image is of me as Richard's mother, in Shakespeare's Richard III, and was taken by the director, Diana Green. I do manage to get cast in plays, but have yet to be cast in a musical. There's always the next time!
I've never auditioned for anything, and I am quite sure I would panic. I have sung in amateur choirs, but I'm no soloist. I can play the piano, but not all that well. I'm a rotten dancer. Fortunately, I have no huge desire to be onstage!
I have totally failed many many times up there!!! But when the piece has been well rehearsed, and there's a skilled support crew behind me, I LOVE the stage. love. Thanks for stopping in!
I'd love to see you on stage!
You remind me of a recurring nightmare in which I'm on stage, and it's time to say my lines, but I don't know a single word. Why can't I dream I'm stealing the show? It's a dream! Humor me, subconscious, instead of mocking me.
I often dream I'm trying to read a book and can't comprehend a word. Well, of course not. The book doesn't exist. My subconscious is too lazy to tap into the Muse and give me some, free, signed-sealed-and-delivered.
I applaud your ambition - keep singing and dancing and strutting your Shakespearian hours on the stage --pay no attention to Macbeth!
“Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.”
― William Shakespeare, Macbeth
I have that same dream. I walk out on stage in the wrong costume and have no idea what to say. It's a nightmare when it happens. Not at all like the time it actually happened to me.
The stage manager told me I had missed a cue to enter - she was spitting mad and frantic. I rushed to my supposed spot, strolled out onto the stage hoping something would come to mind. Nothing did, so I strolled back out. Turned out the stage manager was wrong.
Ohhhh man I LOVE that story: the stage manager was wrong!!!
Dreams of being unprepared plague most of us adults, it seems.
We all dream of being back in school again, facing a test we never studied for...
Can't find our locker or the combination to it, or the syllabus, or the classroom....
I wonder if people who actually did cut class, drop out, or screw up dream this stuff.
It seems to me that scrupulous people who never did this are more likely to dream they're slacking off or screwing up.
Pleasant dreams to you!
I did cut class. I've screwed up. The fear of failure is REAL.
Likewise my dear online friend. You are my #1 fan.
Awe.. that sucks and you know your talent was not reflected in that audition(s). But you have the courage to keep going.. to keep chasing that dream. One day the stars will align, the curtains will part and your voice will float among the ears of the crowd like satin on the skin. It will be beautiful and appreciated.
Your time will come. I know it will :)
It doesn't suck, that's the thing. Each time is much much better. Auditioning is extremely difficult - I had no idea the preparation (years!!!) that goes into being able to do only that much. Being in the play is much easier, not nearly as scary, as auditioning. I'm proud of myself for doing it again and again, despite the humiliation. It's the best motivation for me to learn.
You ROCK! That's the attitude to have in each and every aspect of life 😊
OMG honey, I can SO relate to this!!!!!!!!!!!!! I also wanted to dance & sing - two things I have always been incredibly passionate about... but fear is so crippling!!!!!!! I went to a networking meeting a few years ago and had to stand up in front of 30 people... I literally saw the walls move in on me. I have ZERO recollection of what I said, lol! NONE! I was also LAST and there had already been people from my industry, which did nothing for my confidence.
I would like to say to you though, that the judgement of other people, should NEVER become your internal gauge (I am sure you knew this a long time ago anyway)... but as an example - one which resonates with me quite strongly....
This kid entered the "Britains got Talent" contest at the age of 12 (a year older than my own son now) - that on it's own is an enormous display of courage... and yet they pummeled him into the ground. He came back... and this is what happened - (perhaps you have seen this already)
I know I will never sing or dance they I wished to, but seeing things like this, stirres so much inspiration within me to do and be the best I can be at whatever I am doing right here, right now!
Thank you for sharing this slice of your life lovely lady!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
MWAH!!!!!!
That video doesn't work.
Hey, anyone who can't survive blowing an audition, or twenty, shouldn't be auditioning for anything. Failing in public is a great motivator.
I enjoyed writing this. Good suggestion! Thanks for appreciating it.
Hmm, worked for me...Maybe it's a settings thing.
Then I am sunk. But it says it's not available in my country.
Bummer.
As for going last, I dread that so much that I am always the first to go. They say "who wants to go first?" and my hand shoots up. No time to worry, to rethink, to regret, to compare. Just do it. Taking chances raises my performance level. I'm lucky in that way.
You sing and dance in the eyes of those that know you and see you clearly.
You are amazing. I love the way you take your adventures and mold them into your fray, just part of the growing experience. But, at least you go, because, well, we never know what they will be looking for.
Adore your tenacity!
Yup. I'm that for sure. On the flip side, when an audition goes really well, it's a high like no rehearsed performance could ever be. If I don't fall on my face now and then (or a lot), I haven't been putting myself out far enough to hit those heights. I really learned that lesson downhill skiing - if you're not falling, you are not taking chances.
Unless you are just a good skier! :)
Yes, I agree with that.
If there's ever a stage production calling for an expert raspy-peeper you'll get the job no worries.
Thank you!