Monday eve here... 11:30 PM to be factual. I read this. I hate many of the things you have to type... Worse yet, that you type it from personal experiences... which also sucks.
Suffice it to say that a few days ago I hit an absolute wall with everything here... and absolutely quit giving a damn... about anything to do with any of these damned hateful people. I am unsure if I ever mentioned it... but not once in all my days here have I heard laughter even a single time... which says a lot about these folks considering all the other kinds of awful noises that I have heard.
I can't relate of course. Because I am not you. But yet... in a way, I am. When you say loss of music (?!?), I am guessing that meant you "could" play some. But that would bring a negative ending... Bleh... I know you are doing what you can. I am sorry you hit that wall... I got smiles for ya all day long, man.May not think so... but there are quite a few folks (me, included) that enjoy reading your posts. Wait for them even... Yes, for good and bad. All is One, One is all.....
@tipu curate 2
!LUV
Heya @wesphilbin yes I could play music and be well within my legal rights to do so not just due to the lack of any noise ordinances here... but this state specifically protects music being played at farms in its laws as well.
The challenges for me are two-fold.
First and foremost:
If I play the music and wind up getting more trauma attached to my therapeutic outlet... then that just adds to the previous experience which just is not good for a myriad of reasons.
Second:
I only give folks one single chance to bully me (which the fella tried to do back in September 2024) and I just walk away and omit them from my life... meaning that I never want to look at them again... let alone talk to them again. I have dealt with bullies my whole life so I do not give second chances. The problem that arises is that if I play the music and he chooses to scream at me again I will 100% make a beeline for him with violent intent without skipping a beat.
I know myself all too well in this way. I know many folks talk trash about violence and such (specifically their ability to do it etcetera) in some chest beating way but that is not how I roll. I won't get angry, I won't get mad, I will let out a deep sigh, walk calmly towards the confrontation and inflict said violence without uttering a word or feeling bad about it at all. I reserve violence for dealing with violent people.
I am a handful of months away from having zero violence in my life for a decade straight... and really I just want to have at least ten years go by without it occurring because it will be a first for me. My life has been an extremely violent one. Not because I am wingnut violent but because I have always stood up to violent people on my own behalf and on the behalf of others. All of which is why peace and peacefulness is so important to me.
Hope that helps explain things and as always I appreciate your words.
@jacobpeacock...
!LUV
That is life indeed!
Guilty as charged. :)
Hahaha! I feel for you all!
In the best of ways and appreciate the candorous complementary complements there!
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