What happened in my life that made me think "I HAVE to change my pattern" - what was that point of break?
~ Background ~
Around the age of 15 or 16 years old, I was the odd one out among my friends - I had not yet gotten my first period. How come I had noticed it (only) at that age? The narrative in my family was that my mother had very irregular periods, sometimes none for months on end, so we let it slide a bit hoping it would come. It did not.
That's how a long string of tests and seeing doctors started, culminating with a two-week hospitalization in the endocrinology department by age 17.
(disclaimer - I am writing this from my emotional side, seeing the memories with my current eyes, and not so much from the 'formal diagnostic' side).
At the end of those two weeks I can only assume they realized I had PCOS but can't recall the 'name of the disease' until later in life. I was induced into bleeding through hormonal injections and then put on a contraceptive pill. During that time I gained a lot of weight, I was very moody and experienced severe emotional ups and downs, but was always explained away as teenage years.
What followed was a number of years of changing and playing with contraceptives by several doctors, changing the dosage, the type and so on. My weight got somehow in check. My mood maybe as well. But I was never really feeling well, always experiencing side-effects and not able to be in touch fully with my womanhood.
~ Breaking Point ~
The story of me being a helpless patient, locked in a system of classical gynecology was slowly unraveling. If they really want what's best for me, why do they never seem to take the time to listen to me? If they are professionals, why these visits seem like torture, like my body is not whole so we need to poke at it with various metallic devices to put it back together?
One day - by this time I had gone to doctors in Romania (my country of birth), Spain, Belgium and Switzerland - I was sitting in front of 'my doctor' and told him I would like to get off the pill and try other ways to 'cure' myself of whatever it was (he never seemed to know either...). I was laughed at, ridiculed, called silly and threatened I'd be back in no time to see him to have an abortion.
The threats did not come true. I started seeing a very talented homeopath who started by cleaning my body of years of hormonal disrupting medicine. 7 years later I am so much better. I have a regular period that comes un-induced. My body is at a very nice and natural weight, I feel strong and healthy.
~ Currently ~
Along with these changes, came others of course, and I am still a long way from other natural health practitioners. However, I stay away from pharmaceuticals compared to before when was regarding them as true companions despite the side effects. When I experience pain, I don't take a pain killer - I dance with the pain, I converse with it, I move the energy differently. I am still learning for more 'severe' cases like allergies to insect bites or weeks-long terrible coughs.
I am grateful for managing to be mostly vegetarian, with long periods of time of being vegan. I hardly eat sugar, I drink way less coffee and alcohol, I sleep deeply. I practice yoga and meditation, long walks in nature. I have a strong rejection of harsh physical exercises, so I really respect my body and listen to it by giving it gentle yet deeply restorative and resilience building movements.
I keep seeing my homeopath, he is treating my whole family and some friends.
Several other symptoms are slowly disappearing and I would even dare to think I am as fertile as any other 'healthy' woman.
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What leads me to abandoning pharma products for natural ones?
The amount of well being experienced from living differently, more naturally is so vast that I can't imagine going back to the numbness I used to live under. I experience less fear, I engage with the elements more, I feel free. Being locked in a pharma-medical cycle seems un-free, so maybe this freedom is really what keeps the natural fire burning.
I can't imagine what I would have done had I had more acute diseases, or more 'serious' cases. I feel blessed to have gone through the traditional, pharma treatments in order to come out this end.
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What other medicines am I looking into in the future?
I have not started to seriously look into it but I feel less frightened and more attracted to consciousness shifting plants and medicines in order to befriend my darkness, my shadows. I have really come a long way and if the moment is right, I am sure that the plant will keep calling me so it can become part of me and accompany me on my journey.
Thanks for sharing! I always enjoy hearing other people's stories about getting off pharmaceuticals and getting back to nature!
The sharing was tough, didn't know what to leave in and what to brush over...still, very glad I have and thanks so much for the kind words and support, @zydane
Yet still they try to discredit natural therapies, when I've come avoid so many stories like this. I'm so glad you are finally able to feel healthy again.
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Yes, noticing the breaking points in our psyche and following up on our natural instincts. Thank you for this amazing community that I am just coming into @naturalmedicine @minismallholding
Loves reading your post! So wonderful of you to share.
I relate to so much of what you talked about, and my wife and I have both been on that similar journey. I am happy to say that for our son who is 18mo,we have managed to prevent any "metallic objects" entering his body..
Keep on what you are doing, it sounds inspirational and above all, healthy.
Also, if you have any questions or want to talk about plant medicines of the Consciousness shifting kind, feel free to message me. I have experience with first time psychonauts and holding space for fellow travellers.
Feeling the warmth and care through your comment. Just following you and yes would love to stay in touch to share experiences and natural tips:) @orlev
OH I'm so sorry I missed this when it came out. I have no idea why! It's a great post (perhaps it's because there's no picture thumbnail to make it stand out??). I admire your natural journey into health. It's terrible to be 'diagnosed' with something so debilitating at such a young age and I'm so glad that you have found a way to manage the pain and blossom into peaceful fertility. Thanks so much for joining in this challenge - I really appreciate your entry so much!
~ @riverflows ~ grateful for your supportive and helpful comment.
I am very sorry for what you have been through, but you are very strong and you proved it. This testimony reached me. I am happy because you were able to overcome a very strong obstacle and thank you for sharing it here, life is a million opportunities. :)
Feeling filled with gratitude to read your comment, @pavanjr. For a long part of my recovery I didn't even think of it as much ... just another case, didn't realize the magnitude of the small step outside of the so-called pharma system. Makes me think of how small we learn to play...