10% done and it feels like it’s been an eternity! LOL. Just kidding. The days do seem longer not taking up all my time with smoking or watching tv/social media. My Cara Cara orange this morning was incredible. I’m not sure I’ve ever had one better, honestly!
Gratitude Never Runs Out
I could’ve sworn that 50 days into gratitude journaling I would have run out of things to be grateful for. NOPE. Every day and every experience reminds me of something I am grateful for. For a long time I fell into a place that my friends would call The Black Pill. It’s the mental space you get into when you think everything is screwed and fighting the inevitable is pointless. Gratitude pulled me out of that. Gratitude helped me focus on what was in front of my face and amazing as opposed to the things that were hundreds or thousands of miles away from me the Media constantly harps on .
- Hand Lotion
- Walking Shoes
- Cat Naps
Sunday is Gunday
Every Sunday I head out to the range to get in some practice. I really need to train a lot more in the near future. However, the range is always a place of calmness for me. I know that might seem odd seeing as how there’s loud noises and such. But there is a repetition and a rhythm to shooting. There is also a breath to it. I enjoy an hour or two of procedure, focus, and relaxation in the face of what others might normally consider mayhem.
Today I spent the morning with my ModMat AR shooting .223 at 25 yards. I recently added the Sig red dot magnifier so it’s kind of cheating but I’m looking forward to stretching out the distance on this setup.
The Food Continues to Be Basic (And That’s Good)
My menu for today consisted of the following:
- Organic Cara Cara Orange
- Spirulina, Banana, and Peanut Butter smoothy (no added sugar or oil)
- Organic Gala Apple
- A Couple Celery ribs with homemade Hummus (Jocelyn rocks at this)
- Cucumber and Avocado rolls (big on wasabi, light on soy sauce)
- Lentil & Brown Rice Pasta with homemade Marinara
- Romaine & Cucumber Salad with Olive Oil & Balsamic Vinegar dressing
- Air Fried Green Beans
- So Much Tea and Water
On a personal note, my family isn’t loving the menu as much as I am, LOL. It’s ok, I get it.
I Can Only Change Me
Whether it was being ‘black pilled’ or pissed off at everything happening in the outside world, I was always trying to rail against or control the ocean. It’s a fool’s errand really. You can only control yourself. And you can only change yourself.
I’m almost to the end of my Caretaking the Narcissist book and a major element of moving on from being a Caretaker is taking personal accountability. Most folks are who they are and if you have a bad relationship with them, some of that is on you. The same thing can be said of yourself. If you have a bad relationship with yourself, there’s no one to blame but the only person present. Outside influences are easy to deflect onto but ultimately, I choose whether I let those things effect me and how. This journey is about personal accountability and getting past a place of self-harm to a place of self-care.
And there’s nothing like plants for keeping things in perspective. It rains and they grow. The sun shines and they grow. It’s always time to grow.
DAY 4 IS IMMINENT! I CAN’T WAIT!
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And Please Share!
I always keep reading about new flowers and plants. In the last picture what is the name of the plant with yellow flowers?
I believe they are called Bandana Yellow Mounded Lantana.