Your enlightenment is just one conversation with the Devil away - the one who knows your shadow best. Your shadow is what is unbalanced in you that has potential to topple the delicate structure of the integrity of your ideal self - the true self you wish to become or intuitively feel you really are but aren't quite - the shadow if not faced has power to topple these ideas and the precious progress towards this self at any moment. The issue is that you can't see it yourself.
We often blind ourselves either for willing ignorance or as a kind of self-protection mechanism from what we don't want to see - the things not adding to our perfect picture of 'right' within. So you search in honesty to find blockages that stop you from attaining true self-dom - and you cannot alone - the reference point of nature can assist in this - as all imbalance is stored in nature and nature is a mirror - but you alone without a mirror are looking from the inside out - with only a theoretical understanding there is something amiss but no way to turn yourself around and look at you and see you. You need nature for this - you need nature to eventually become independent of it - you need the mirror. The Devil is the master of the natural - he/she/it is not 'evil' but rather a symbol that represents the thing you've put on the throne by not taking self-responsibility - at times all the pieces of yourself that you've let wander without any direction work in concert and take control.
We create reams of justifications as to why we made decisions we had no control over. We choose to suppress the reality that we didn't have control and then choose to overlay thoughts of believing somehow we made a conscious decision. We choose to forget we overlayed those thoughts - we wish to remain like children - we refuse the work of facing the pain of responsibility. We have dubbed pain as negative. It it not to say you dive into pain as a sado-masochist it is to say that you avoid it or face it intelligently and not like an animal.Shadow is a suppression of an avoidance of pain.
As long as you don't see or refuse to see - there will always be a negative opposite (albeit subtle in some instances) working against you!
Why?
Because you need it. You need this polar opposite to function. You haven't yet known yourself outside of a polarized mind - you aren't yet real in the land of one.
So what do you do?
Go to the king of shadows and have a good ole yarn. Dissect the triggers from the ounces of truth in everything that is said.
Who knows the things you might not see best - the things you can't see yourself - than the one who uses all you have, all that is imbalanced and uses it to enslave your mind to sensation and emotion - in a wandering dip and rise of pleasure and dis-ease.
Find a way off the rollercoaster - learn to look at the negative as it is - see what is real, accept things that are real as real that may have initially have been charged with being negative - have the ability to look at things as they are without having placing any charge on them or having an emotional reaction. No matter how 'bad' or good or good they may be. If your starting point for change is not 'real reality' then you're grounding your integrity in clouds - you need to ground your anchor within the solid bed of the sea. You need to push that anchor deeper and deeper until you find the ground.
Only then can you build a tower to heaven on a structure that lasts.
When this path is followed honestly and purely - the devil stops being an enemy - the devil is a tool. You become an unstoppable force because you and the devil - and the Christ within - all as one are moving in the same direction on the same boat.
Symbols on this boat of a soul, riding on the endless path - onwards to eternity.
Practical:
Pick up a pad and pen (use physical means, my suggestion)
With the intention of having a conversation with your 'devil' for the purpose of self-betterment and in the desire for self-knowledge - write down all the negatively charged thoughts that have pursued your mind the day before or even the week before - and if you can't remember, make a note of remembering future ones, make a note of them and allow yourself a place in yourself to be separate from them as an observer to do this.
This 'observer self' is part of your invaluable and essential self-knowledge desiring skillset, it requires development through persistence - like a muscle that needs to be used and conditioned, find a place within that is not affected by the noise of the mind, and if you don't have one, make one - make a marker - and consider it daily - build up an inner alone perception of it until it becomes a muscle where there wasn't one - "I am all one, I am alone" affirmations go here.
Now go through each point that has chastised you - and find the truth in it. Write it down - why does it have power over me that I can't control my thoughts about it?
I can't delude myself that I don't have control for why am I thinking something that causes me pain and why can't it just be stopped in a moment?
Herein lies a great problem for most. Admitting you have no control of these thoughts coming to you is a part of getting to the solution. You start to become a spectator within yourself instead of always riding on the rollercoaster - you're standing on the edge watching it go up and down. It's still going up and down but your awareness is grounded in honesty.
What about this truth that you've written is imbalanced or is not within a greater selfless aim?
Let's establish some groundwork here - your compass must be pointed towards self-knowledge and you must endeavor to be selfless in your aims in the service of the all. If there is one thing that I would say just trust me on this one - it's this. It's a pretty hard and fast foundation.
Try working around that one as you will - but years of pain have taught me, this is the only way forward. So if you choose another path - first make sure - your compass is only ever pointed towards honesty. Find honesty, find real reality. Be ready to change.
Go through each chastising thought now and in a different section - write specifically the things that triggered you - it could be a word - it could be a tone of voice of 'that person' - whatever it is... figure it out and pinpoint the exact thing that makes you feel "Aaaarrggh!"
Now go through this list of triggers and consider if you have framed them as a 'you' - for example 'that person's voice' - 'your dirty breath' - 'their insolence! How dare they!' -
Write this third person 'blame' as a first person affirmation - and say each one over and over until you feel no charge, no inclination, nothing of what you felt before...
eg. I am insolent! How dare I! Feel how you would feel, feel who you are, if you were to be that person - feel yourself into that situation... find a way to sit with it and have absolutely no reaction to it. This isn't developing apathy - this is developing control.
Since when did we give the keys to the kingdom of our focus away? How dare we allow ourselves to be governed by a good that is dependent on a bad in order to exist? We refuse to look at the bad and so only see the good - while denigrating the bad - which feeds our ‘good’ and maintains both the good and the bad... in a polarized reality - continually manufacturing the pain that we run away from constantly - sit back from yourself and watch - honestly, how exhausting! Have we no control?!
Words in and of themselves do not create manifestations wildly by mere mentions and the use of language. We must really consider how insane it is to consider this as such.
It's the charge behind them - some words naturally hold a lot of charge for a lot of people - so it is assumed those words ALWAYS hold charge.
How do you remove that charge to a word or to a thought? Relate to it as you, accept and allow yourself to be that thing - you find a way to feel it as you and see - you have control. You can choose to remove the charge by removing your focus and by dissecting your reactions.
It is unreasonable to run from a person that mentions a negative word. What charge does it hold for you? Stop there - that's as much as it effects you.
The charge I create combined with other's believing in it and also charging it - this then has potential to manifest large scale.
If you have control over what you put 'in charge' or where you place your focus - Then ask yourself - what do I actually want to create? Make sure your routine, regular, conditioned thoughts always revert to those things as a foundation. I’m not saying you need to become Satan - I’m saying you need to remove the charge associated with what makes Satan, Satan - this then removes the power for that aspect of yourself to create - with your fear and uncertainty manifesting things left right and centre (without your awareness) because you refuse to look at your shadow. There are shit things that happen in the world - shit things we cannot control. Only from a foundation of stability in an acceptance of what is real can we can build a solid bridge that lasts into the future across the pit of despair.
Build the foundation of this bridge on the rock, not on the sand - your character is going to be blown away when any decent storm comes - yes, I’m loosely quoting Jesus here.
Become comfortable with what is normally perceived as 'negative' you'll find that by allowing yourself to remove the charge from something and the fear of something manifesting or just by merely mentioning or thinking it - that the ‘manifesting’ is not in the language but in where you put the focus - where you put the 'charge' - think of it like electricity... to focus on something intentionally is to plug it in.
A forest that has been burned down must be stated that it has burned down - it is a reality. We say the forest has burned down - we must accept the reality. We may be sad for a moment but we need to allow ourselves a practical state of mind to move forward - not clouded by emotion or by a self-created delusion that somehow sees a burned forest as a gift from God. Let's not play these games of self-induced optimism to get things done - why do we need to deceive ourselves to be positive in order to get something done? Why can't we just look at what is here and accept it - then look at what we want and move towards that with all of our mental faculties intact? We don't need to be stay depressed about it for centuries - we don’t need to drive ourselves with an emotion or delusion carrot on a stick. In the acceptance of what is - we can then move forward as quickly as possible and create structures that heal - that last! Because they are not founded on polarity dependence - they're founded on solid, hard, real reality that sticks around - oneness is the ground underneath the rollercoaster of polarity.
We could go around pretending the forest hasn't burned down or trend charred black into the new positive - but this is akin to spiritual bypassing. Of course, I'm saying all this in symbols - you'll have to do your own math in your head.
With all of this in place as a practical exercise (excuse me, I intended it to be much shorter) - Revisit the same chastising thought (that you wrote down and attempted to balance the aspects that trigger you) the next day and deliberately and consciously as an observer within the self - maintain separation in yourself from the charges that are created within. Then you have the power to quell these potential 'energy' bursts of focus that have power to join collective thought cause momentum and move onwards into becoming.
The more we can face, that we can balance within - the less we have to experience out in the world. The more time we have to spend of more important things. The more time you have to focus on the next important part of your individual process towards your divine heritage.
The path that you focus on is the path that lights up. (Some famous teacher said this somewhere).
The free will you contain - is not like you have been raised to believe. The only free will really is your ability to attach or detach - where you choose to align your focus. Like coupling train carriages or not. You’re presented with all these options to couple carriages on your journey and some come coupled by default - you don’t often see them until you have experiences that expose they are attached to you - then your free will in this situation is your ability to remove the light of your awareness from it - thus stopping to charge it - detaching from it, and uncoupling its potential to affect you and others. This may have to be done repeatedly as conditioning happened through repetition - so a resolution to do whatever it takes and commit to an eternity-term is essential for real progress. Progress that is accountable to real reality on the only real timeline there is.
Some things need to play out - you cannot just stop them. This also must be understood to restrict frustration at not being able to control the negative influx after a decided choice to serve self-knowledge only.
At the end of it all - there really is no choice. This is the only way. We just need to get on it and do the work. There’s no way around the work either - there’s no special panacea or new age teacher that can take the hard work of self-responsibility from you. This is a commitment you have to make with yourself alone - to do it - no matter what it takes - that commitment whether spoken outloud and shared with others or not - is only really evident in your actions. You can say you are committed but if there is no change - you must change your application and increase intensity of application. We live in a structured reality of conditioning so don’t worry no pain or discomfort is forever. Conditioning your reality to be something that isn’t constantly making a darkness of night replay is something that takes your entire commitment. As much commitment as you can give - is enough. But it must be ALL of it. You can’t give it half or 9/10ths - it must be all of you. And in giving ALL you learn how to give more. It's also a muscle that needs developing over time and with persistence.
There is no need with this exercise to imprint a positive affirmation afterwards - the aim of it is to remove charge - not to create more polarizing charges. We do not wish to replace the illusion of accusation, desperation and despondency with the illusion of love, abundance and renewal. You may find a pathway to abundance with such a method - but know that any desiring of imbalance needs and creates an opposite. Serve the light and as a bi-product attain the things you need and want inline with service.
Align your intention with purifying honesty. As you learn more about yourself and about nature - honesty takes on new aspects - what was real before becomes illusion and so on and so forth.
There is a very good reason why initiation exists in certain orders.
After enough rollercoaster rides, one life after another (yes, I speak proverbially) - we get sick of it. We get sick of lying to ourselves. We get sick of thinking we know everything when we don’t. We get sick of being enlightened around others then in a cage of the mind when alone. We get sick of solutions that only offer temporary polarized moments of bliss. We get sick of attaining power over things and then feeling empty inside. We get sick of fighting for a name in society and then discovering how little it’s helped out self worth within when we spend any considerable amount of time alone. We get sick of drugs, coffee, sugar and sex - standing back from it - we get sick of sensation. This drive, this need to do this or that - why? We get sick of giving our power away to these sensations and we search for a way to retain separation from them and maintain a stable consistent self. We put our light of awareness in the direction of attaining this eternal self and we meditate on it in our day to day. We search for a deeper meaning to life that serves a level, a stable contentness of being that cannot be robbed by the poker game of life.
With self-knowledge as the king desire - the Arjun of the Gita - in communication with the Krishna or Christ self or ‘thinker’ within - all other illusions melt away - the odds are always in your favour on the path of eternity... there is an inner commitment to go through whatever is required and just get it done.
Good luck out there soldiers!
Monty
ps. Further reading - Thinking and Destiny by Harold W Percival
@tipu curate
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