Not exactly a storm but more of an unnatural disaster of bad jokes, tired A-listers, and bunch of monotonous action that's all flash but no bang.
Synopsis
Thor teams up with Valkyrie, Korg, and his ex-girlfriend Jane Foster to defeat Gorr the God Butcher.
Where'd I watch this?
Local movie theater but honestly it wasn't worth the money.
Here's the Youtube trailer.
And I know, I know, it's a fun-looking trailer but besides those trailer scenes it's all down-hill from there.
What'd I think?
I was praying that this movie would be good, that it would live up to the hype of its predecessor, 2017's THOR: RAGNAROK ...
... But it really, really didn't.
I really, really wanted this movie to be good. 2017's THOR RAGNAROK is one of my favorite Marvel Comics films (My top 5 are AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR, BLACK PANTHER, CAPTAIN AMERICAN: CIVIL WAR, THOR:RAGNAROK, and AVENGERS: ENDGAME).
I mean, it's a Thor movie with probably the most attractive member of the Avengers. Just have him go another heartfelt journey, that teaches us more about his upbringing on Asgard, Asgardian history, Asgardian culture, other Asgardian characters, some good character-foil jokes with the Guardians of the Galaxy ... how hard can it be?
But no ... they somehow managed to screw that up.
I'm very confused as to how they went from THIS:
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To THIS:
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You could tell in 2017's THOR RAGNORAK that everyone single person was having a hell of a time, everything looked super cool, the action and the scrip were non-stop fun, and each character hit some very interesting beats.
But in 2022's THOR: LOVE & THUNDER, everyone just looks hungover, stiff, swollen, and super ridiculous.
There's an interesting bit about the New Asgard on Earth being nothing more than a cheap amusement-park knockoff of its former self but that interesting development isn't tackled any further. It's just some weird Asgardian toon-town for .. idk Norse mythology lovers?
I high hopes for Natalie Portman as a girl-version of Thor but they handled it with the same bumbling, lack of confidence they did with the rest of the film. I wanted to see her be super bad-ass, maybe even more so than Thor. Seeing the hammer select her as more worthy than him, or for the weapon to be traumatized by being broken by Hela, or some explanation for how Hela even broke it to begin with.
There's a bit in the movie where we see in the past that Thor asks Mjolnir to promise to always try to protect Jane no matter what, which acts at the perfect motivation for why she may have become Lady Thor but they never address it.
Also, I expected a lot more from Natalie Portman. Since she's been doing movies since she was young and has done some great stuff: STAR WARS, BLACK SWAN, LEON THE PROFESSIONAL.
And then there's what what they did to Tessa Thompson's Valkyrie in this movie. She's probably the most badass character from Thor's corner of the MCU, especially with her kick-ass introduction in THOR RAGNAROK buther character gets robbed of any good action and wit in this movie.
VALKRYIE:
Where the hell did all my solo action-scenes and witty one-liners go?
THOR:
Don't look at me. I was told we were doing "Asguardians of the Galaxy." No idea wtf this is.
Another guy who really looked like he didn't want to be there, was Chris Pratt.
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THOR:
Chris Prattlord, please don't leave me.
STARLORD:
Nah, f^ck this Disney sh@t. Gonna do some Zero Dark Thirty stuff for Amazon.
And then this was THIS guy ... Christian Bale as Gorr the God Butcher, trying his hardest to carry this stinking pile of trash on his back to the box-office finish line. I have no idea how they got someone as great as Christian Bale to do such a rarely-known villain but not even his mighty star power and talent exorcise this mess of its demons. This is the guy from Nolan's DARK KNIGHT batman trilogy, AMERICAN PSYCHO, THE MACHINIST, REIGN OF FIRE, THE BIG SHORT, VICE, THE FLOWERS OF WAR, TERMINATOR: SALVATION, AMERICAN HUSTLE, THE FIGHTER, THE PRESTIGE, he's just in banger after banger after banger).
Anyway ... it was a pretty big let-down and made Doctor Strange Two look like a masterpiece.
Final Grade?
Hope you enjoyed this movie review!
If you're interested in more movies reviews by me, here's a list of my previous entries:
Movie Review for 2020's "The Night House"
Movie Review for 2021's "Hellbender"
Movie Review for 2022's "Chainsaw Massacre"
Movie Review for 2014's "Mama"
Movie Review for 2021's "Master"
Movie Review for 2021's "Stillwater"
Movie Review for 2021's "Blue Bayou"
Movie Review for 1997's "Conspiracy Theory"
Movie Review for 2016's "A Silent Voice"
Movie Review for 2019's "Weathering With You"
Movie Review for 2021's "A Classic Horror Story"
Movie Review for 2016's "Your Name"
Wasn't Thor: Love and Thunder also postponed due to the situation surrounding COVID-19? That didn't help matters, either.
I recall reading somewhere that Natalie Portman had had it with Marvel movies, especially those involving (or not) Jane Foster. She was on the verge of walking away when this project came along, and even then it took Jane Foster becoming Thor to keep Natalie Portman attached to the project. It also helped that the comics themselves featured a storyline where Mjolnir chose her to be Thor, but each time she assumed the role as "Goddess of Thunder" her lifespan as Jane Foster was cut short by some amount.
I'm trying to recall what I had read as far back as 2019, so I may be off or way off here.
Also, wasn't Thor himself looking more like a taller version of George Coastanza than King Leonidas from 300 in between Thor movies? When did his transformation back to Avengers-vintage Thor take place?
With the turn Disney has taken in recent years, it's just as well that the last MCU movie I had seen was Ant Man and the Wasp, so I'm sure I've missed a few things over the last 3 years. I just expected much more from Thor 4,
Yeah I agree, he had a good Leonidas-look going and they totally went backwards.
Natalie Portman is a well-known actress and she's done well in the past but I think they should've just focused on Valkyrie instead since her character has already been established. Her story feels like a missed opportunity so far.
Honestly other than Infinity War, Black Panther, or Captain America-Civil War, there wasn't much to miss.
Thanks for reading and I hope they make much better Marvel movies in the future.
We'll find out if Natalie Portman returns for Thor 5, assuming there is a Thor 5. Even if her character comes back, it may have to be played by a different actress. She may be done with big-budget action movies in general, in which case her high point came in Attack of the Clones; smaller-scale movies may be more her style regardless of genre.
Regarding Valkyrie, there may be a heel turn in her future. If "Thor ♥️ Valkyrie" doesn't work out as a story, expect to see "Thor
versusValkyrie" sooner or later.As for the Christian Bale character, how does he compare with Malekith (Christopher Eccleston) from Thor: The Dark World? All I know is that I felt bad for Christopher Eccleston and how he was used in Thor 2.
Yeah Natalie Portman seems more like someone who would do more artsy stuff nowadays instead of blockbuster attempts.
I'm not sure how Valkyrie could be made an enemy of Thor but that would very interesting to see. She's a great addition to his corner of the MCU and I think could make for a worthy opponent if they don't give Thor too much plot armor.
I'm not too familiar with Christopher Eccleston, I know he was one of the Doctors in Doctor Who series and I think he might've been in one of the 28 Days or Weeks movies but I agree with you in that I also felt bad for Christian Bale, that his talents were wasted on such a dismally bad movie.
Natalie Portman may still do action movies in the future, but maybe no more green-screen work. Between Lucasfilm and Disney/Marvel, I think she's had more than enough. No WWE or UFC in her future, but she may still have sufficient box-office pull for either. She's still an actress in the truest sense of the word, not simply a movie star.
When Doctor Who made its major comeback, Christopher Eccleston was the 9th Doctor. He was the one who dressed in black leather, like a short-haired Duncan MacLeod. He only lasted 1 season, to be followed by David Tenant; I have no idea why he only lasted 1 season. Besides his turn as the 9th Doctor, and Malekith in Thor 2, he was Destro in the G. I. Joe movie featuring both Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller.
It looks as if both Christopher Eccleston and Christian Bale fell behind on their bills and needed some extra cash flow. Sooner or later, all the big-name actors (including Robert DeNiro) end up in that situation.
It's been so long since I've watched Doctor Who. I started with David Tennant and stopped watching maybe halfway through Peter Capaldi's whack at it. I know there's a couple new seasons of a woman Doctor and I heard the newest Doctor might be black or Indian but I could be wrong on that. David Tennant's probably my favorite but I definitely grew to like Matt Smith as well.
I agree that it does feel like Christian Bale did Love & Thunder for the money. His presence was also probably a plus for the film's marketing overall since he's a pretty popular name. I'm not familiar with all of Taika Waititi's work but I liked his vampire comedy movie and tv show, really liked Ragnarok, and maybe perhaps Love & Thunder exists just to prove that everybody makes mistakes. I agree with you that if the economy keeps at it we're going to be seeing a lot of old faces returning to the silver screen to stay financially afloat in these rough times.
These actors aren't doing movies like Thor 4 because they pay well. They're doing those movies because they have bills to pay. Child Support and 3rd mortgages and 5 ex-wives don't pay for themselves!