Have been thinking, after all being at the marriage age, undeniably it is an inescapable notion that will not nudge you, at least during the after hour of nights.
Often wonder as usually, what is it that restrain me to fall in love, with persons, with marriage when someone has always yearned for a family of their own for the as long as they remember.
Tell me, tell me you married people two things about marriage, "What is marriage to you?" and "What is marriage to everyone around you (society, family, friends, culture), except you?"
We have read a lot about marriage in our sociology subject in high school. It will not be difficult even to remember the precise definition of "Durkheim or Weber". Now after being an adult, I realised, they only taught us what marriage is and that it is a part of social life that ought to be maintained. But nobody actually taught us how to make a marriage successful or what to do upon falling. Nobody talks about happy or unhappy marriage, as if it is beyond these mortal desires and only to be worshiped just as it is regardless of its circumstantial issues.
Nobody talks about happy or unhappy marriage, as if it is beyond these mortal desires and only to be worshiped just as it is regardless of its circumstantial issues. And everywhere, it is referred to as a means of extending the natural flow of reproduction, producing offspring. Never historically was a means of the final outcome of love and passion for one another, the desire to be together, as if those could only be considered nothing but a byproduct of a marriage.
Eventually that beautiful marriage became a way of maintaining one's imposed legacy of wealth, nobility, gaining something from it, and as the last phase "there is nothing to do after you get a job, so get married".
Nobody wants to address the collisions, unhappiness, loneliness, grave despair but only advise to "just keep going".
Why?
Going where?
Even a person like Nietzsche was subtly ignored in this context when he talked about happy or unhappy marriage and quoted "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages"!
How beautiful is that?
Yes, Some people like to bind themselves with one another through marriage, which is an extremely popular conviction amongst women mostly. Now do not ascertain me that it is just a system or aphorism. It is just a tradition that has transcended through the time and has not been dissolved in the crowd of historical other concepts. It has been established just like a piece of paper is considered as money because we call it money, or a value of a bitcoin because we say so.
I am not against marriage, but against the idea of "being unhappy together" just because it's a tradition of thousands of years.
And it is not impossible to find the (not just say ideal) but compatible partner, but the rush for marriage after reaching certain age is what deprive to find one, which eventually most of the time leads to a incompatible partner.
Source
I love marriage.
I dreamt of marriage, marrying into even an extended family when I was a teenager, not that the perspective has changed by the time I grow older; however, what has changed is that the desire for a marriage, or let's say acceptance of marriage as it is and expectation from a marriage.
And as astonishing as it sounds, the expectations are not even something expensive materialistic things that might seem unaffordable, rather something very simple.
Wanting to be treated as a family into the family, as a person from those persons, affection and acceptance as a man from those mans, and that it is all there is to wish.
Of course, most women are either unaware of "what a marriage of desire can be '' or it is incomprehensible to them "that there is more to (marriage) and you have every right to seek for it".
That is also a well established propaganda of the hardcore patriarchal society.
Misogyny is not the fault in women, rather is a byproduct of long standing suppression, being deprived of ever being able to think individually as a human being.
A fear of being outcast by the most "reliable" being in their existence... father/brother/husband/Son, while not owing a place to stand for thou.
Well, end word, everyone should get married, ONLY when they are ready for it and happy and excited of starting a new life they thought is the best possible event.
So, GET MARRIED FOLKS.
But, DON'T, IF THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU WANTED.
or, EVEN IF IT WAS A HAPPY ONE, LEAVE WHEN THERE IS NOTHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT.
All the contents are mentioned until mentioned otherwise.
There is a saying, "Make sure the one you are marrying is also your best friend, so that when the romance died down, the friendship continues to flourish the company"
https://peakd.com/hive-124452/@fahmidamou/mahr-a-right-or-ransom