maybe watch the first 45 minutes with your friends ;).. ok that may a bit boring if you finally have friends round!
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maybe watch the first 45 minutes with your friends ;).. ok that may a bit boring if you finally have friends round!
OMG the short one is 3 hours ahhaha
Just watched the long one. It was really good it is actually what I do with my romantic connection and probably why finally have such a harmonious one where no one wants control the other and we completely accept each other as we are and do the inner work, rather than project. I guess it's much easier because we are both aware and do our own work and are really able to discuss all topics from an open place, where neither of us get triggered. That did take 10 years to get to that point tho of solid work with other connections, I probably don't put the same effort in into other areas, when I deem the other person is bound to come at me aggressively or if i express my feelings come at me aggressively and almost use that as a weakness but for sure there is never an excuse to attack, it always comes from being defensive and trying to protect yourself.
Most of the people in the video talk about family and relationships, where you would at least hope under all the battles both people do actually want to connect and make the relationship work. Out in the wild west you have ppl that rly don't give a shit, you also get this in relationships too and i guess thats when ppl need to keep working on themselves and move away. I do think sometimes it's powerful for them to own their past, what happened then take responsibility for attracting better. I honestly think his methods are amazing but I do still think this works the best in situations where both parties do actually want to fix the relationship and only the misunderstanding is in the way.
thats great you got through it.. hes a rock star that man!
let me just say
and this is from experience
it works best also when its with people you may not be close to, but nevertheless make your life less amazing.. ive helped so many people, just yesterday in fact i saved my friend from a protracted and very challenging situation with someone who had been a friend. He was fielding a demand and criticism and really really wanted to respond by telling this person what he was (in his opinion).. In the end my friend wrote a very simple NVC response and we all felt so much better.. the entire conversation ended and he saved at least the entire day of heavy conflict and unproductive discussion. Since he was able to just state his feeling and needs he just took action ..
in a way NVC is quite boring with two people who already know this language.. because there are far less break throughs.. its pure magic when I see someone who had been previously angry and blaming me for this or that suddenly totally own their shit.. they have done so only after i have sat and REALLY listened to them.. reflected and helped them understand their feelings and needs.,. and then.. POW.. suddenly the tears come and they are sitting in their real feelings and needs.. from there we can really start ..
anyways.. thats just my experience..that.. most people are angry because no one ever listened to them properly.. its very frustrating.. and it only takes one person to start it off.. the immediate transformation in someone when we gift them the attention of our giraffe ears is very special..
much love and light..
I do agree with you on the most part. Not that it’s ever really good to be aggressive as that comes from a place of defence but I do think it’s only going to get results when the other person wants, at least on some level to evolve or fix the relationship. I hAve definitely seen many times how you can have a chat and not judge someone and they tell you really intense stuff they have never told anyone else, you can fix issues too but I’ve defo myself at least had a couple of experiences where I did this kind of thing and shared how I was feeling and the person actually used it against me and then focused entirely on how I’m damaged due to what I told them and took absolutely zero ownership etc they infact used my expression to actually take more power and dominance. That can be even More intense when it’s a group. Thats probably when a person is so in defence mode and cannot even let a chip of feeling enter in, probably because they would break down. I do think it works rly well tho when the other person has at least some small desire to evolve or they do want to fix the situation and find peace. It probably will always help you avoid arguments too but only if you can probably remove yourself from the situation if they person makes no attempt to meet you halfway.
I guess my question is what if someone is invading your country and you practise nvc and they completely ignore you and laugh at you being weak and continue to invade. What does one do? That’s a genuine question actually. I’m anti war and do think we can fix that within but I guess it kind of takes everyone doing that. Using this method would you just let them completely invade you? Or would you eventually place up a boundary? Genuinely asking actually rather than having a point, I’m intrigued on your take.
I mean I am still 100 percent glad I made that post I felt and still feel such relief to have aired things that I experienced that i had been afraid to say. I think it helped a few other people who had been in the same situation and also been too afraid to speak out. I do agree my language could have been better and less defensive but I do think sometimes it’s good to acknowledge things. I actually felt quite free after tbh. Altho I don’t obviously like arguing I just felt i took back my power and wasn’t sat afraid anymore just because a group of people with power could take away a few dollars and actually just felt a big switch off any attachment to the platform. It actually inspired me to go and focus more on nft platforms, I’ve spent a couple of days now researching nfts and finding some communities who are all really supportive and even sold one immediately. There doesn’t seem to be any of this politics if you scroll through their chat feeds. Probably cause everyone’s focused on something, like making and selling art and improving their craft. I feel overall it has created a huge positive shift. Maybe that process was a bit wobbly tho I’ll admit that but somehow it all felt necessary. Without that whole argument I don’t think I would have had nft back in my awareness and found my next passion to jump into like that. So I do rly wonder if maybe everything is for a reason on a higher level. Maybe those guys needed that interaction and so did I.
I did really like the videos tho and it’s a good reminder for interactions. I watched the long audience one and will defo watch some more x