An image of me
While observing my a lone time today, all in deep thoughts, my phone suddenly buzzed with a notification. So, I had to pause the a lone time and picked it up
Guess what, I saw the name of an ex-boyfriend I dated years back...
For a second, I just stared at the screen with mixed feelings
I couldn't help but laugh out loud with a scream "Ah, kilo ṣẹlẹ? Wetin sup?" I said to myself.
Out of all the people in the world, why would you suddenly DM me after all this time and years?
Curiosity got the better of me, so I opened the chat.
He was talking so casually, asking how I had been, bringing up old memories which I choosed to bury, and even saying we should keep in touch. It almost sounded like he wanted us to become close again.
But that message took me back to a chapter I worked so hard to close, a phase that took a lot of time for me to heal
This was someone who frustrated me emotionally even abused me physically.
Since he brought up the memories back, I reminded him about the unanswered calls he once claimed busy, the mixed signals he kept sending, the promises that never became reality
At a point then, I remembered crying, questioning my worth, and wondering what I had done wrong.
Like for real, it took time, prayers, and healing before I finally found peace... Not just peace, It was a safe place in a human form
Now he's back with a simple "Hi baby"
Part of me believes people can change, another part of me remembers how difficult it was to rebuild myself after everything that happened.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate him anymore, but I don't know if forgiveness automatically means giving someone access to your life again.
So now I'm genuinely asking...
If you were in my shoes, what would you do?
Can you truly forgive an ex and still keep them close as a friend?
Or is it wiser to forgive from a distance and protect the peace you've fought so hard to find?
I'd really love to hear your thoughts...
That is a tough call, but for me, I'd say proceed with caution. If you're gut is say no, then stick by that. I'm not sure giving him time to prove himself is worth the risk considering all you went through the first time.
Just my 2 cents for what it's worth. Take care! !LADY
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Very valid
Thank you so much
You're welcome!
NO! Forgiveness is one thing, but allowing him into your life again is different. I would not do it! 😕
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Forgiveness and access are two different things entirely
Thank you
From what you said, I'd forgive him but keep the distance. It's hard for me to trust the person again, especially if he did something abusive.
Very much in agreement
Thank you