LOH #160: Letter to a special woman in eternity. ENG/ESP.

Do you know someone dear to your heart who passed away unexpectedly? In case he/she can read your letter from heaven, what do you want to tell him/her? You can express your feelings, emotions, and everything else you've been holding inside that remained unspoken before he/she passed away.

¿Conoces a alguien muy querido que ha fallecido inesperadamente? En caso de que pueda leer tu carta desde el cielo, ¿qué quieres decirle? Puedes expresarle tus sentimientos, emociones y todo lo que has estado guardando en tu interior y que no le habías dicho antes de que falleciera.


Everything begins and everything ends in eternity, but eternity does not know about us.... Its poor dreamers.- Gustavo Pereira.

Two years ago in my family we suffered the loss of the youngest of my aunts. They always say that the loss of someone young affects more because it is the most unexpected, especially for parents, because the ideal is that their children outlive them and that they are the ones who are there to accompany them in death, not the other way around. My aunt was an extremely cheerful, quiet person, the kind of person who transmits effusiveness and energy in a subtle way, without necessarily being the focus of attention, however, we always knew that behind the good mood on birthdays, the attention to detail and the displays of affection among all of us, she was the one behind the good mood on birthdays, the attention to detail and the displays of affection among all of us. She was always the one with the initiatives, the one who had a plan for a Sunday even when no one wanted to go out, the one who organized a delicious lunch to share among all of us.

Hace dos años en mi familia sufrimos la pérdida de la más joven de mis tías. Siempre dicen que afecta más la pérdida de alguien joven por ser la más inesperada, en especial para los padres, porque lo ideal es que sus hijos los superen en años de vida y que sean ellos lo que estén para acompañarlos en la muerte, no al revés. Mi tía era una persona sumamente alegre, tranquila, de ese tipo de personas que te transmiten efusividad y energía de una manera sutil, sin ser necesariamente el foco de atención, sin embargo, siempre supimos que detrás del buen ánimo en los cumpleaños, la atención a los detalles y las muestras de cariño entre todos nosotros, estaba ella. Siempre fue la de las iniciativas, la de tener un plan para un domingo aun cuando nadie quería salir, la de organizar un rico almuerzo para compartir entre todos.


In spite of that, she hid a lot of suffering and criticism from those closest to her. She always took refuge in God, but sometimes her hopes wavered and I learned after her death that many times she wanted to give up, her good spirits diminished and she locked herself in her room without wanting to talk or eat shortly before she died. Many years ago she received a kidney transplant, which for a long time protected her from being dependent on dialysis until, through carelessness or carelessness on her part, her body began to fail. And even in those moments, it was her calmness that inspired me with confidence that everything was going to be all right.

A pesar de eso, escondía mucho sufrimiento y críticas de sus personas más cercanas. Siempre se refugió en Dios, pero a veces sus esperanzas flaqueaban y supe después de su muerte que muchas veces quiso rendirse, su buen ánimo disminuía y se encerraba en su cuarto sin querer hablar o comer poco antes de morir. Hace muchos años recibió un transplante de riñón, que por mucho tiempo la protegió de ser dependiente de diálisis hasta que por descuido o despreocupación de su parte, su organismo empezó a fallar. Y hasta en esos momentos, era su tranquilidad la que me inspiraba confianza en que todo iba a salir bien.


I remember the last conversation we had was so unexpected but necessary, it had been hours since I had left work, but I didn't want to go home. In a hospital room, for the first time she spoke to me not as a niece, but as a woman, and we talked about forgiving hurting people and family members, about relationships, and about life itself. Little did I know that it would be the last and first real conversation I would ever have with her, and I wish I would never forget it.

Recuerdo que la última conversación que tuvimos fue tan inesperada pero necesaria, que ya habían pasado horas desde que había salido del trabajo, pero no quería volver a mi casa. En un cuarto de hospital, por primera vez me habló no como a una sobrina, sino como a una mujer, y hablamos sobre el perdón a las personas y familiares que hacen daño, sobre relaciones, y sobre la vida misma. No sabía que sería la última y primera conversación real que tendría con ella, y deseo nunca olvidarla.


If she could read me, I tell her now that I miss her every day, that her absence is very palpable but that as much as possible, we have tried to preserve her spirit in celebrating each other when a birthday or special date approaches. I want her to know that although we knew each other very late, it was better that than never having met her at all, and that I do not allow myself to remember her in a hospital bed when I could no longer speak or see, but I remember her when I do my nails or hair, because she loved to do her hair. I remember her when I see the sky or am close to nature, because they inspire me with freedom as she was free despite her limitations. I remember her in the songs she listened to so much, and in my family's laughter and games. And that everything begins and ends in eternity, I wish that soon the eternity that separates us will end, but in the meantime, I will take care to honor her by being as free as I can be.

Si pudiera leerme, le digo desde ya que la extraño todos los días, que su ausencia es muy palpable pero que en lo posible, hemos tratado de preservar su espíritu en celebrarnos los unos a los otros cuando se acerca algún cumpleaños o fecha especial. Deseo que sepa que aunque nos conocimos la una a la otra muy tarde, fue mejor eso a no haberla conocido nunca, y que no me permito recordarla en la cama de un hospital cuando no podía hablar o ver más, sino que la recuerdo cuando me arreglo las uñas o el cabello, porque a ella le encantaba arreglarse. La recuerdo cuando veo el cielo o estoy cerca de la naturaleza, porque me inspiran libertad como libre era ella a pesar de sus limitaciones. La recuerdo en las canciones que ella tanto escuchaba, y en las risas y juegos de mi familia. Y que todo empieza y termina en la eternidad, deseo que pronto acabe la eternidad que nos separa pero mientras, me encargaré de honrarla siendo lo más libre que puedo ser.



All photographs used are from my personal gallery.

Todas las fotos utilizadas son de mi galería personal.

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Very beautiful! I'm in tears

I was too when i wrote it, but i must say they were bittersweet tears.

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This is nice. I wish she could read this.
Losing a loved one is very painful, and it's more painful when it's premature death.
Take heart, and remember there's a reason for everything.

I wish the same, but I am comforted to know that for brief moments we were able to talk to each other and show that we love each other. Thank you for your words!

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