Marriage is just a symbolic piece of paper. It doesn't change the way I felt about Sharn. I know that might be a shallow approach, but it was a party, a ceremony, some government paperwork, and ... nothing else really changed except "my wife", "my husband", and her last name.
Love, to me, exists outside of labels like marriage and all that sort of stuff. It doesn't increase loyalty, or anything beyond that.
In fact, I wanted to vehemently not get married, because for the most part, marriage is seen to be a religious custom, and if I do not put myself into that category, then I betray my beliefs (I couldn't think of another word!) about it. As a governmental / administrative things, it didn't make life any harder or easier.
I dunno, I'm rambling incomprehensibly, constantly trying to contend with the fact that some day, all things will end. I do take the "til death do you part" bit of the traditional vows very seriously.
Mate, I totally NEVER wanted to get married for above reasons.
But. I met Jamie and fell so in love there seemed no better way to do it. It seemed to honour the depth of our feelings. The vows are whatever. Make them what you will. Write your own. But there's something about the ceremony, the ritual, that was important to us. Both loyal, hopelessly in love. We just knew.
There's a lot of people that get married because they're bored or think they have to. Then there's the adulterers, the people who beat their wives, the emotionally cold, the people not meant to be together. No wonder marriage gets a bad rap.
In England, we had to get married in a church, because you couldn't just get married on a beach like here and to have a non religious ceremony meant big money and a manor house. It was cheaper too, but still I baulked. I was never going to get wed in a church ffs!!!
But. Jamie put it to be like this - him not a God fan either. Marriage is a tradition that goes back hundreds of years. It's part of a western tradition - hand fasting, whatever. It takes many forms, but to vow to dedicate yourself to the other, come hell or high water, is the point. The little church we got wed in had a stone people had been standing on to get married for SEVEN HUNDRED YEARS. It was all worn and smooth. This wasn't about God, but about PEOPLE.
That was so super cool to me.
Marriage can seem like a piece of paper, but it wasn't to us. It was big and grand and beautiful - not the event, but our willingness to submit to each other. Not in a obsequious, service, obey each other kind of submission, but a humble, giving, caring way. Sure, we didn't need the paper for that - the blending of church and state, arguably, but in the absence of other traditions and in the desire to heal our past insecurities and relationship traumas and to step up to be the best people we could be to each other, 'I do' was pretty cool.
But that's just us. Whatever. You do you. We did I do.
22 years later I still like the way 'my wife' sounds when he says it. Always tender.
Mind you, he still mock shouts DONT DO IT if we drive past someone else getting married.
We were going to get married on September 11, because of my beard. I had a friend that used to always ask me if things were ticking. We didn't get married that day. Instead we got married on an unforgettable day.
Do you remember what you were doing on 4/3/21?
I was getting married. After eight? Nine years? of being together.
We got married in the planetarium. Under the (virtual stars). I might be letting too much of atomic origins out by revealing that fact to you, but we had like... 30 people present.
I lost it at this.
🤣🤣
Getting married at the planetarium is well cool.
I also had 30 at my wedding. Then is kids (30 year olds) danced around the fire to a folk band, took pills and doofd til 6 am.
I think I posted pics of it at some point in '21 - I have posted A LOT, and that's a long way to scroll.
Damn you inefficient search tools
And in the morning Dad, Tam and I went swimming in freezing English waters and I will also not forget that. We were the only ones crazy enough, or maybe in love with life enough, to do so.
Note the flag
I think at this point it was Orbitals Dr Who
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