It gets discouraging when your attempt to better yourself has met with so many obstacles. It feels as though life just pushes you down the gutter and there's no way to actually ever see the light again.
I admit that these days, I spent way too much time again on twitter and online to procrastinate from my actual life responsibilities. I have to finish my thesis but I always say to myself " let's clean this house, clean that place,etc". As of now, cleaning is a way for me to avoid responsibilities. I know, cleaning is good but in my position, it is a distraction from my actual responsibilities.
At the moment, my fears from the past have paralyzed me. I am stuck, lost and uncertain where to go forward with my life. What should I do? will people care about me leave me when I decided to pursue my dreams? though I get reassurance from my parents and my partner, I am still doubtful. All of them have been kind enough to understand my mental health. Something I did not expect from my past interactions with the past circles I had.Perhaps it pains them when I said I would rather die than to live.
To deal with this aspect of life, I am trying as much to be organized and perfect. Perfection is something unattainable and though I understand that, I still fall into that habit. When I don't meet my standard, I'll fall into the gutter. Perhaps, it is me who is self-pushing myself into the gutter through my perfection.
Strange though, writing this out has helped me pin point why I feel bad lately. I can summarize it's : spending too much time online and attempting to reach perfection. Now, I can move forward and take some actions.
~ Mac
Well sad to hear you are struggling, you don't need perfection, we live in an imperfect world and are imperfect creatures...what makes us human, perfectly imperfect! Just believe in yourself, practice makes perfect.
don't give up or worry if others will care or what they say. I am a woman working in a man's world and started at a time when our presence was unwelcome and I was never accepted by my peers when I first started until many years down the line nor did anybody in my circle understand why I would do this to myself. My mission became to empower more women to learn a skilled trade and make it so that we are accepted in the environment and push for equal rights and opportunity. It's not what others think that is important, it's what you think and that you blossom into a confidant woman as you gain life experience. Don't be so hard on yourself kiddo, you will achieve great things in life and inspire others.
That is very inspiring. I always have this doubt about myself when it comes to actually pursue what I really like and I am still learning how to be less doubtful and be more confident about my skills. My past experiences have really crushed me until I am at this point in life, somewhere I never expected to be.
Thanks for the encouragement, I'll try to keep that in mind.
Negative past experience teach you how to be better for the next one, we learn best from failures and they shape us for the positive if you look for the silver lining. I still have doubts about myself everyday but find a way to push thru and end up surprising myself and you will too, it doesn't come naturally, you have to work at it and overcome your fears. Take one step at a time and one day you will look back and be proud of how far you have come. Cheers! xox
I don't think that there is necessarily a problem trying to achieve perfection, I think that that the problem comes when you are not able to recognise when there is nothing else to try, and what you have done so far, is the best that you'll get it, so it's the difference in knowing that perfection can still be achieved and knowing when it can't.
I am and have been going through that myself, as I am just about to publish a teaser for a documentary that I have been making over the past 10yrs and I am trying to make it perfect, knowing that it will never be because I did not shoot it perfectly in the first place, so I have had to do so many things to it during the editing, going around in circles trying to get it perfect, and I have to force myself to stop, otherwise I will be hear for years constantly fiddling with it and never, ever being able to get it to perfection, but it's my reputation too, everyone in the industry and outside the industry will judge it and then me based on it...but tomorrow, I promise myself to stop- just after I do a few more little tweaks to it.
And when you do pursue your dreams, your family and friends will follow, if they don't, your friends then were not really your friends as friends do grow apart from each other naturally anyway, but you will find new friends where your dreams are and you will have many things in common with them.
And my doco called Impatient - 10 years in the making, is an observational documentary following #MeetMyHero- genetically radical Sue Armstrong- fine artist, peer advocate as she pounds the pavement meeting with all kinds of people in the community to speak to them about supporting her campaign to get female only wards re-instated in hospitals for the safety all females in psychiatric care and you can watch the original teaser that I cut a few years ago here https://www.chocolatescorpion.com/impatient
So some dreams can take a long time to come to fruition too, but when you have a dreams, then you can't give up trying to reach it, when you find you whole reason for living- your soul purpose for being here in this life time, there's absolutely no question about giving it up when you don't achieve it at first, you just keep trying. After all, you have nothing to lose...
So your mantra should be from the Helen Reddy song....
and another mantra of mine...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8M I hope that you not only enjoy these songs, but also keep them in your head so you can use them to remind yourself just how valuable, resourcful, resilient and amazing you are. 😊Stay safe and be well. ❤️❤️❤️
That is worthy a post already! I am learning so much and especially when you mentioned that we shouldn't give up and some dreams can take long to come into fruition. I felt that way though, I lead a certain lifestyle in order to be where I would be. I wrote about it on my dream job but because some thing that happened around the last 3 years, I felt so hopeless and wanting to give it all up because there is no point for me anymore to pursue anything. I am still in the journey of forgiving myself and building my dreams from ground up. It has been hard especially with depression that constantly plague me with negative thinking and impulses.
Well I find the best way to stop that negative thinking is to force yourself (myself) into getting up and doing something- anything and telling yourself on ehting that a friend once told me when he was 16 and just a few weeks before he died in a cyclone in 1993 and that was when he woke me up at 6am to go scuba diving for the first time ever and I told him that I was too hungover from the New Years Eve party the night before and he said nope, come on Lees, case you know if you don't come, you will regret it for the rest of your life.
And every time I think about backing out of something, or not even getting out of bed, that's what I think of, knowing that If I don't seize the day, regardless of how bad it might be, then I will regret it for the rest of my life, because you never know what can happen in that day.
It could start out to be the worst day, but suddenly something happens, you meet someone, see something on the television, or even here in Hive and it can make a rainbow shine for you and you can't miss that opportunity.
And don't forget to celebrate yourself and your life, because you are one of the lucky ones- you are still alive!
And I also think that one of the the best ways to get over negative thoughts, is not wait for opportunities and good things to happen, but be defiant towards life, be bold, be pro-active and make opportunities happen.
And look what we have right here- Hive, the best place to make opportunities happen.
So, when you're having a hard day and finding it hard to get motivated, think to yourself that you will regret it for the rest of your life if you don't make that effort.
And don't forget to listen to that song- always look on the bright side of life...😄😄😄😄❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😄😄😄😄❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😄😄😄😄❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😄😄😄😄❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😄😄😄😄❤️❤️❤️❤️
It's good to get it outside of your head where you can take a good look at it.
I always think it helps to sort things out in my head when I write it down or say it out loud. Just hearing myself say it sometimes gives me the answers I need.
Good to know it works for you as well. I also try to go outside sometimes but these days, you know it's a bit tricky.
Mac that sounds hard, i say always pursue your dreams but only when all the signs in your head are good. Good luck and stay safe
Thank you for your encouragement Brit, I appreciate it so much !
Perfection is so overrated! Where do you go from perfect? More perfect? I think trying to better ourselves or become a better version of ourselves is a self-motivator.
We are our worst enemy when it comes to critiquing ourselves. Don't you think? I had to finally take a step back to realize this.
I hope you have a great day!
!tip
ah yes, the enemy is actually ourselves through critique and comparison. I try so hard not to do both but there are days when I fail.
Thank you for your encouragement, I appreciate it so much!
XOXO
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