I take responsibility for what I say, not for what you understand (Anonymous).
English 
First of all I would like to thank you infinitely for last week's contest, it was great and it helped me a lot to catharsis, reflect and of course, improve my mood a little bit.
Today I want to thank @merit.ahama for this new opportunity to talk about us and tell our experiences, how we handle certain situations and what learning it leaves us.
Before I get into it, I would like to invite my friends @antoniarhuiz, @sosismi, @syllem, @esthersanchez and @zhanavic69 to participate in this contest this week and share with us their experiences and take the opportunity to take that much-needed look inside ourselves.
That said, I'm here to tell you my experiences of the times I remember being misunderstood. I know there have been more, but these are the ones that have definitely marked me, either because they have made me angry or have left me with an indescribable feeling of sadness.
1️⃣ What do people always misunderstand about you?
One of the things I have always been misunderstood for is whenever I go to speak. This is with my sister. I think she is the only one who has always tended to misinterpret everything I say, to take it out of context, to break down every word, every letter until she gets something that suits her and where I get hurt.
For example, she always tells me "Ali, you have to save so you can travel with me to Spain again".
She knows how my finances are now, she knows that I no longer receive the same income as last year, that I had to take my son out of private school to put him to study in a public school and that I have been without a car for a month because it broke down and I don't have enough money for spare parts. It's like this: either my son and I eat, or I buy the spare parts for the car. But I can't do both at the moment. She knows all that, but...
So I told her last time, after so much insistence to save, to buy this or that, that it was impossible for me to save or buy what she told me because I simply had other priorities to attend to.
Her response was: "You are going to complain, to victimize me, you need therapy, you have a serious problem". Or the other one she told me was: "I can't lend you money...".
Oh, for God's sake... I just asked him, "When did I ever borrow money from you, or rather tell me at what point in my life have I ever borrowed money from you, just tell me once and I'll keep quiet."
Obviously she had no argument to contradict me because I have never borrowed a penny from her.
Well, he immediately got upset and told me that I should stop complaining about the lack of money. I mean, I was speechless looking at her.
Really? I complained? She keeps telling me to buy this and that, to save money, to go out to a restaurant with her and so on and so forth and I never answer her because I know she's going to jump on me and say stupid things.
But aaaah! She can say that she has no money and this is fine, because she is her. She has the right to be wrong, to not have money and to say so.
If I am the one who says it, I am misunderstood, she adapts my words to the frame she thinks to tell me that I have problems, that I am a victim.
Yesterday she casually came back with the same thing. She wrote me to tell me that they were showing a play that she has always wanted to see and told me to go see it. In the face of so many things she has said to me before, I just replied that I didn't want to go see it.
Of course, she called me rude and impolite. I didn't answer anything and she kept on saying more things. At my silence, she gave up and left me alone.
I wasn't going to get into a sterile discussion with her, it's not worth it because anything I said was going to be used against me anyway. It wears me out too much trying to defend myself, especially since I didn't do anything wrong. So what I say is one thing and what she understands is another. I gain more by keeping quiet than by trying to explain to someone who doesn't feel like listening.
2️⃣ When have you felt your biggest adrenaline rush?
If there is something I have a huge fear of, it is heights. Whether it's leaning out of a balcony, walking over a manhole, going down very steep stairs, I start shaking uncontrollably. It's terrifying for me.
Well we were about four years ago in Mexico, a vacation trip and we were visiting a town in Mazamitla Magical Town, in Jalisco and there was a zip line.... Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.... All my friends were going to jump (even the little ones) and I was taking pictures, because obviously I wasn't going to jump.
But my friends began to tell me that I had to overcome my fears, that the only way to do it was to face them, and that was by throwing myself down the zip line. Well, after so much telling me "coward, silly, you don't dare" and after being asked if I would do it, if I wouldn't, if I wouldn't, if I would... to back out, I put on my harness and protective helmet and I stood on the edge of the little house, but I didn't dare, I'm sorry.
Just standing there, looking into the void, the fear I felt was horrible. My heart was pounding and I started to scream, I felt that if it was beating so fast, at any moment my heart would stop.
I can say that without having jumped, I felt the biggest adrenaline rush in the world. I even had a hard time going back down the stairs. My friends laughed at me, but I'm not ashamed to have backed down.
And bells and whistles, this tale of terror with the zip line, is over.... 😲😊
Espanish
Me hago responsable de lo que digo, no de lo que tú entiendas. (Anónimo).
En primer lugar quisiera agradecer infinitamente por el concurso de la semana pasada, estuvo genial y me sirvió mucho para hacer catarsis, reflexionar y por supuesto, mejorar un poco mi estado de ánimo.
Hoy quiero agradecer a @merit.ahama por esta nueva oportunidad para hablar de nosotras y contar nuestras experiencias, cómo manejamos determinadas situaciones y qué aprendizaje nos deja.
Antes de entrar en materia, quisiera invitar a mis amigas @antoniarhuiz, @sosismi, @syllem, @esthersanchez y @zhanavic69 para que participen en este concurso de esta semana y compartan con nosotras sus experiencias y aprovechen de echar esa mirada tan necesaria dentro de nosotras mismas.
Dicho esto, vengo a contarles mis experiencias de las veces que recuerdo que he sido malinterpretada. Sé que han sido más, pero estas son las que definitivamente me han marcado, bien sea porque me han hecho enojar o me han dejado un sentimiento de tristeza indescriptible.
1️⃣ ¿Qué es lo que la gente siempre malinterpreta de usted?
Una de las cosas que siempre me han malinterpretado es cada vez que voy a hablar. Esto es con mi hermana. Creo que es la única que siempre ha tendido a malinterpretar cada cosa que digo, a sacarla de contexto, a desmenuzar cada palabra, cada letra hasta conseguir algo que a ella le acomode y donde yo salga perjudicada.
Por ejemplo, ella siempre me dice "Ali, tienes que ahorrar para que puedas viajar conmigo a España de nuevo".
Ella sabe cómo están ahora mis finanzas, sabe que ya no percibo los mismos ingresos que el año pasado, que tuve que sacar a mi hijo del colegio privado, para ponerlo a estudiar en uno público y que llevo un mes sin carro porque se dañó y no tengo para los repuestos. Es así: o comemos mi hijo y yo, o compro los repuestos del carro. Pero ambas no puedo hacerlo por los momentos. Ella sabe todo eso, pero...
Entonces yo le dije la última vez, después de tanta insistencia para que ahorre, para que me compre esto o aquello, que se me hacía imposible ahorrar o comprar lo que ella me decía porque simplemente tenía otras prioridades que atender.
Su respuesta fue: "Ya te vas a venir a quejar, a victimizar, necesitas terapia, tienes un serio problema". O la otra que me dijo fue: "Yo no puedo prestarte dinero..."
Oh, por Dios... solo le pregunté: "¿Cuándo te pedí prestado dinero, o mejor dime en qué momento de mi vida yo te he pedido dinero prestado?, solo dime una vez y me quedo callada."
Obviamente no tuvo argumentos para contradecirme porque jamás le he pedido prestado ni un centavo.
Pues de inmediato se molestó y me dijo que yo debía dejar de quejarme por la falta de dinero. O sea, yo me quedé muda viéndola.
¿En serio? ¿Me quejé? Ella vive diciendo que compre esto y lo otro, que ahorre, que me vaya con ella a comer a un restaurant y una cantidad de etcéteras y yo nunca le contesto porque sé que me va a saltar a decir esas estupideces.
Pero aaaah! Ella si puede decir que no tiene dinero y esto está bien, porque es ella. Ella tiene derecho a equivocarse, a no tener dinero y a decirlo.
Si yo soy quien lo digo, soy malinterpretada, adapta mis palabras al marco que ella le parece para decirme que tengo problemas, que soy una víctima.
Ayer casualmente volvió con lo mismo. Me escribió para decirme que estaban pasando una obra teatral que ella siempre ha querido ver y me dijo fuésemos a verla. Ante tantas cosas que me ha dicho antes, solo le respondí que no quería ir a verla.
Por supuesto, me llamó grosera y maleducada. No respondí nada y por ahí siguió, diciendo más cosas. Ante mi silencio, se rindió y me dejó en paz.
No iba a entrar en una discusión estéril con ella, no vale la pena porque de igual manera, todo lo que yo dijese iba a ser utilizado en mi contra. Agota demasiado tratar de defenderme, sobre todo porque no hice nada malo. Entonces lo que yo digo es una cosa y lo que ella entiende, es otra. Gano más quedándome callada que tratando de explicar a quien no le da la gana de escuchar.
2️⃣ ¿Cuándo ha sentido su mayor descarga de adrenalina?
Si hay algo a lo que le tengo un miedo descomunal, es a las alturas. Así sea de asomarme por un balcón, caminar sobre una alcantarilla, bajar escaleras muy empinadas, comienzo a temblar sin control. Es aterrador para mí.
Pues estábamos hace unos cuatro años en México, un viaje de vacaciones y visitando un pueblo en Mazamitla Pueblo Mágico, en Jalisco y había una tirolina... Oh por Dios, por Dios, por Dios... Todos mis amigos se iban a lanzar (hasta los pequeños) yo me estaba dedicando a sacar las fotos, porque
obviamente yo no me iba a lanzar.
Pero mis amigos comenzaron a decirme que debía vencer mis miedos, que la única manera para lograrlo, era haciéndoles frente y eso era lanzándome por la tirolina. Pues después de tanto decirme "cobarde, tonta, a que no te atreves" y después de estar que si lo hago, que si no, que si... de echar para atrás, me coloqué mi arnés y el casco protector y me paré al filo de la casita, pero no me atreví, lo siento.
Solo el estar parada ahí, mirando al vacío, el temor que sentí fue horrible. Mi corazón latía a todo lo que daba y comencé a gritar, sentía que de latir tan de prisa, en cualquier momento mi corazón se detendría.
Puedo decir que sin haberme lanzado, sentí la mayor descarga de adrenalina del mundo. Hasta me costó volver a descender por las escaleras. Mis amigos se rieron de mí, pero no me avergüenza haber reculado.
Y colorín colorado, este cuento de miedo, se ha terminado 😲😊
.gif)
| Créditos | Credits |
|---|---|
| Fotografías propias; atardeceres en la Isla de Coche, Nueva Esparta y de mi viaje a Jalisco, México, el año anterior a la pandemi. | Photographs of my own; sunsets in Coche Island, Nueva Esparta and from my trip to Jalisco, Mexico, the year before the pandemic. |
| Cámara: Sony Cybershot Full HD. | Sony Cybershot Full HD camera. |
| Traductor utilizado DeepL. | Used translator DeepL. |
Eso es demasiado osado, si yo le tengo pánico andar sola en Caracas, no quiero imaginar lanzarme al vacío,eso es mucho con demasiado. Saludos 🌹💐🌻🌺
Jajaja Horrrrrrrrriiiiiiibleeeee 😂😂😂😂😂
Hola @purrix es un gusto conocerte a través de esta interacción. Te entiendo perfectamente en tu respuesta a ambas interrogantes. La familia, nuestros divinos tesoros, es en ocasiones la comprensión de lo incomprensible. Con la familia expperimentamos la perfección de lo imperfecto. Gracias por compartir y socializar tus vivencias.
Feliz y exitosa semana.
Hola @marilour gracias por este comentario! La verdad es que escribir me ayuda mucho, me limpia el alma, me sirve de catarsis. La familia muchas veces es así. Yo estoy aún aprendiendo a sobrellevar todo esto, a tratar de entender... de lo que sí me cansé, es de seguir justificando lo injustificable. No puedo seguir poniendo la otra mejilla. Un abrazo para ti. Gracias por visitarme ;)
Hola querida amiga, gracias por tenerme presente. Te entiendo perfectamente cuando llegas al extremo de preferir no hablar con alguien, porque nada de lo que digas se entiende, sino que es usado en tu contra, es exasperante y cuando son personas tan cercanas, ni modo, no queda más que vivir con eso.
Creo que yo tampoco me lanzaría al vacío😅.
Un gran abrazo, recuerda que todo pasa🤗.
Hola belleza! Así es, son tragos muy amargos, golpes dolorosamente duros, pero enseñan, dejan un aprendizaje y por fin, después de tantos golpes emocionales que he recibido de parte de mi familia, estoy finalmente entendiendo y aceptando que así son y que no van a cambiar. Pero yo sí debo cambiar, debo dejar de estar disponible siempre para ellos, porque no lo aprecian, al contrario.
Nooo lanzarse al vacío ni en sueños!!!
Gracias mi niña, por pasar por acá 😊
I can relate with how you felt about your sister misunderstanding you when it was pretty obvious, glad you went past that.
Thanks for participating sis.
!LADY
View or trade
LOHtokens.@merit.ahama, you successfully shared 0.1000 LOH with @purrix and you earned 0.1000 LOH as tips. (4/10 calls)
Use !LADY command to share LOH! More details available in this post.
Thank you girls!!! 😍🥰😍
Thank you my little sis for these beautiful words. It seems incredible how many people can identify with these experiences. Because in facade, we are all the perfect family, but I think there is no such perfect family. Somehow, sometimes you can see the seams. A hug 😊
Ja ja ja esto me mato de risa ja ja, no es asi no vale discutir con quienes creen tener la razon y son mas imperfectos que uno ja ja
Totalmente. No vale la pena entrar en contrapunteos absurdos. Es lo peor, que con un completo caos. Pero para ellos está bien, pero no para uno :(
!LADY
View or trade
LOHtokens.@ladiesofhive, you successfully shared 0.1000 LOH with @purrix and you earned 0.1000 LOH as tips. (9/30 calls)
Use !LADY command to share LOH! More details available in this post.
Thanks for sharing.
!LADY😍
View or trade
LOHtokens.@hive-124452, you successfully shared 0.1000 LOH with @purrix and you earned 0.1000 LOH as tips. (4/30 calls)
Use !LADY command to share LOH! More details available in this post.
View or trade
LOHtokens.@purrix, You have received 1.0000 LOH for posting in Ladies of Hive. We believe that you should be rewarded for the time and effort spent in creating articles. The goal is to encourage token holders to accumulate and hodl LOH tokens over a long period of time.
It must've been had for you...either a lot of mind games going on or just genuine misunderstandings. Either ways, your self aware and confident self is one to be admired
Thank you honey, it has been hard. But I have had no choice but to get through it, even though sometimes I wanted to give up. But my self-esteem is still low :(
Wao that's a lot to handle especially coming from a family member but glad you handled it
I learned to put it aside, not to let it continue to affect me to the point of tears. I realized with painful awakening that my family is very selfish and I must learn to live with that and above all, not to help them anymore. To give exactly what they give to me.
For your first question, I also go through similar situation, not with my siblings but people. They care not to listen to you and keep telling you to buy this, buy that and if you try to explain your situation to them, they take it to mean something else and won't listen to your explanation. It hurts though but one thing to do at that moment is to ignore and keep quiet because some would be waiting to use your words against you.
That's right, I think it's better to keep quiet than to argue with people who don't reason, who, whatever you say, will twist it. It is not worth it. Let everyone believe what he wants and needs to believe.
If i ever get into a Jumping scenario like yours I'd really pretend to be afraid allowing them to cajole me until I slip off the edge. As an experienced nurse, I will feign symptoms of a heart attack before going limp. We'll see who gets the last laugh.
Wow hahahahaha!!! You made me laugh, that would be an excellent strategy!!!!
I'm having a huge fear of heights too. When I'm at the tall place and will look down, I feel like my heart jumps out of my body. My knees started shaking.
It's horrible, isn't it? It's a fear beyond reason. I'm the same way, I start to fear uncontrollably....
It's really horrible. Sometimes I also felt like I would pass out anytime, huhuhu.
Congratulations @purrix! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain And have been rewarded with New badge(s)
Your next payout target is 9000 HP.
The unit is Hive Power equivalent because post and comment rewards can be split into HP and HBD
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPCheck out our last posts: