I thought it was only me that had this contrasting feeling in regards to family. I really crave independence and freedom but I also can't just not be around my family. I feel a sense of belonging with them and will be terrified to lose it when I decide to disappear and be on my own. For me, I hang on the sense of duty and leave the inner yearnings on the background for the time being.
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We humans are probably designed that way, we cannot stay without each other and we also want to be alone at times. i guess it's ok to feel all of that, does not make it any right or wrong
Right. It's part of the human experience. What I noticed is that there are opportunities for both to happen, so we could learn to go with the flow and fully immersing ourselves in whichever of them happens.