I have been enjoying "reels" lately on Instagram which were not only funny, relaxing but also empowering because there were some "reels" that I found very powerful, substantial when it comes to sending messages to all the women in the world. This is not the kind of Beyonce's "who runs the world" rather this is more about giving FREEDOM what is due for a woman.
I came across the "JUST ME!" reel whereby the audio went like this!
screenshot taken from my accoumt here
"Just another day of ME going to work
because...
who else will take me on trips?
who else will buy me a house?
who else will pay for my nails?
??????
with conviction...
"ME!"
You got this girl, the message was loud and clear! Feed yourself and BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT! yet some egoistic male species would not love to hear this from a female perspective because there were some men I knew and a good friend of mine who loved to pamper their women luxuriously. Gave them what they wanted either emotionally or materially.
During my master's thesis back in the university whereby I was surrounded by "philosophers'' mostly our conversation was mainly on how they felt so proud of themselves for being able to provide for their women. How they have gained confidence towards the opposite sex by mainly being able to play the role of a "provider" or someone who paid the bill.
The idea of co-dependency is quite unfavourable for me that's why when I got married, hubby and I shared our expenses of which I insisted. Our recent overseas trip was my initiative and computed shares of our flights, hotel, allowances and any other expenses for the whole duration of our holiday in the Middle East. Does this make my hubby less of a man in the family?
Heck NO!
Please know I am into FAIRNESS and EQUALITY more than anything else despite your preferred gender much more your role in the family or the society per se. Whether a husband or a wife. I believed more on 50-50 in all of its aspects.
Should First-Time Dating be a Man's Responsibility to Pay?
This blog covers my personal experience concerning my first-time dating back when I was working as a teacher in the Middle East and my ex-boyfriend (now my hubby) decided to meet personally. He called it our first date! I was just curious about him for real so I agreed, lol, didn't mention before that I wasn't really into him because my sole purpose of being in the Arabian Peninsula was to work and dating was not part of my agenda.
Not until meeting my hubby got me into thinking deeply.
According to Kim Elsesser, Senior Contributor of Forbes in her article regarding the Contribution of Gender Pay Gap during the "first dates" said that research indicates > this chivalrous tradition needs to end if women expect to be treated as equals at work. This may go beyond the first dates but it has an indirect impact on the treatment women get even in their workplace.
This is not also to point out that women will shoulder the bill but the idea of splitting is way much better! ( at least on my perspective!)
Let me tell you how our first date went.
So my ex-boyfriend and I decided to meet on "Fridays " whereby it's 20 minutes drive from where I was staying so it's more convenient. It was a very casual met up and we mainly talked about anything under the sun apart from political views. We talked for nearly six hours straight until it was time to go home. It was 10 pm to be exact.
Now the bill came!
Initially, the waitress handed the bill to Patrick and he gave his card instead of cash. Very tricky because I told him I wanted to share the expenses because we met up as friends somehow. From my previous statement, it was not a date rather a meet up so at that time I felt the need to share the cost.
Of course, as a gentleman, he boldly said, he won't allow me to do such and no hard feelings on his part because from our first meeting he can sense how independent I am in a good way not giving him the feeling that I can also pay. Gone are the days that dating must only be shouldered by men although alter ego, and out of "chivalrous contribution" I allowed Patrick to pay for everything on the menu.
Although I made it clear to him should we decide to go on the meeting which I felt like our first date (lol) then he has to allow me to split the bill. I am more into "sharing the cost" rather than letting my date pay for everything especially if it's every week although most of the time, he would say...LET ME DO THE HONOUR!
Is it Empowering for a Woman to be Financially Independent? Or does it jeopardize her dating moment?
I have read in an article how a woman's financial independence can somehow threaten men although independence is not absolute in a way that it can't be true for others, however, it can be an issue even to married couples.
My financial independence is part of who I am and my husband is never threatened with it yet when it comes to a personal and isolated decision, we always have something to argue on.
For example, this flight that I booked ALONE attending Expo in Dubai for 12 days and taking it as my mini-holiday away from the family is indeed "EMPOWERING" for me.
Momshies and all those first-time moms, please know we need a time-out for ourselves too. It is very crucial to our self-growth and mental health above all else.
Now I would like to leave this question I asked based on a comment from my post via Noise.cash
Images (Lead) used in this post are mine edited on Canva
this has been posted here