A woman approached us while we were at the mall the other day. She kind of just glided over to us and said, "Oh my gosh, they're beautiful," in reference to our daughters.
We said thank you, and then she unloaded it all onto us: "I never had kids, and now I cry myself to sleep about it every night -- I'll probably cry right after we part ways."
I looked at this woman; she appeared to be middle-aged, headed towards her 60s. She also appeared very distraught.
But more than all of this, when I looked at her, I saw what could have been me.
I told this woman that not long ago, I had come to the same conclusion. At the age of 15, I had already decided that I was NEVER having children (or so I thought).
For one, I believed that I would never possess the ability to handle babies and children. For another, I was selfish and didn't want to bear those responsibilities. Lastly, I was cynical, the classic "I don't want to bring up children in this terrible world" trope.
I am grateful to have found my husband and happy to have had my mind changed. Yet, all the more reason why encountering this woman really struck a chord with me.
Her story -- her decision -- is not one that I hear of often: the regret of willingly choosing not to have children.
Most of the time, I only hear one of the two scenarios: either women who are broken because they physically cannot have children, or women who are ecstatic that they never had children. Yet, here was THIS woman, going on to explain how she has 24 nieces and nephews that she never sees because family have stopped talking to one another.
My heart did break for this woman. I could not imagine a regret so deep that I am left in tears...
I recognize my blessings. I recognize what a blessing it is to be able to conceive, to carry a pregnancy to term, to have healthy children.
I think other people are starting to recognize it too, for yesterday alone, three different people came up to comment on the beauty and blessing of our girls. One little boy came up to hold their hands -- he was so smitten, he didn't want to leave us! Witnessing something so pure, innocent, and caring truly stirs my heart...