The irony of this post is that as I write it, I'm at a birthday party surrounded by a dozen other adults and another dozen and a half kids. The kids are running around a massive gymnasium and having a blast. Most of the guys have grouped into twos or threes and started talking about work, home improvements, etc. The women are pretty much doing the same, or taking pictures and video of the kids having fun at this party. Me, I'm content to sit by myself, quietly, and think.
(Created with Bing)
I can be sociable when I want. I typically make the effort when it's family friends, coworkers, etc. When it's mainly people I don't know, I don't hesitate to step back and spectate. Life is hectic enough, so I'm going to enjoy the moments I get to myself.
Introversion As A Superpower
My brain doesn't usually turn off until I force it to by sleeping. I might as well take these opportunities to sit and think. It's when I'll have the most time to do it, often when I come up with ideas for posts on Hive or new improvements to the DUO project I run with @bitcoinman and @thebighigg.
(Created with Bing)
In an odd way, I look at introversion as a conservation of energy. While others are wired differently and some thrive on social interaction, when I'm around people I don't know it's more mentally draining putting in an effort. I'll still do it sometimes, but when it's optional (Like a non-work function), then for me it's a time to recharge.
(Created with Bing)
For me, the recharge is important. It gives me the mental energy I need to actively work to mirror the interaction others want. If they want a high energy response, I can deliver that. If they want witty banter, I can put on a show. As a result, I don't come across as rude, distant or self-absorbed. Then, once the "act" is over, I can sit back and enjoy the quiet again, recharge for another time, and enjoy the peace and tranquility of the moment.
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It's okay to do what you feel benefits your peace of mind. It seems like it's mandatory to be extroverted, or that you'll get better opportunities and benefits. Social pressure is fine as long as it stays within limits that don't overwhelm you. We are social beings and we evolve by working together. But we also need our space to let everything settle, to observe, just as you do during that party, which is another way of learning. I don't know if it's because of my age, but as I get older, I find myself more comfortable in that state of self-absorption and less so at social events. Having to put on a mask just to please others is exhausting!
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Thank you!
Yes, it can be very exhausting. It's sometimes hard to find that balance when you want to recharge, but also don't want to offend people and hurt their feelings by not talking and interacting much.
Still, we have to pick our moments and be able to politely ask people to come back later once we've had a chance to collect our thoughts.
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I'm with you! I can't tell you the number of times I have been at a conference or something and during lunch I sit at a table by myself. It never fails, someone comes along and sits with me probably hoping to engage in some great conversation. What they don't realize is that I have made an art of just sitting there in silence enjoying my food in my own little world!
Ah, a fellow introvert!
!LOL I bet they were very disappointed and ended up migrating to a different table.
I feel like we could all avoid some of this if we had some sort of mood aura that says, "I'm open to talking" vs "Not interested in chatting." 😆
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