I feel down today. My mind is full of negative memories and emotions bombarding me non-stop. I guess I’m just sick. It feels like nothing is moving in my life, everything is going so slow. It's been three years of focusing on work, creating digital content, writing on Hive, learning new things daily, and pushing myself to the limit. Yet, nothing is moving, and it’s frustrating. Every person I helped turned out useless, and everyone who said they wanted to do business with me either lied or was lazy. No wonder the rich don’t want to mix with people like us, no one wants to do the hard work; all talk, no action.
I try to remember the time my brother passed away during COVID. That was the moment I snapped out of my depression and started focusing on myself, forcing myself to grow and mature. When the government finally loosened the restrictions, I worked part-time. At first, I laughed at myself. People were sad looking at me, a respected manager before now just a part-time waiter. But I didn’t care, I just pushed through. Then I realized I couldn’t grow there, so I left and went to Kuala Lumpur.
When I got a job at a factory, they sent me to a staff hostel. Oh wow, the place was absolutely filthy, with dust everywhere. We slept on the floor on the thinnest mattress you can imagine, with one small pillow. But I didn’t mind. My brother texted me to send a picture of the place, and when I did, he told me to come stay with him. I didn’t know he cared about me, it felt strange. The old him would’ve said, "Life is hard, right?" But this time, he actually wanted to help. I guess age softened him, in a good way. Still, I told him no, that I’d survive.
A few days later, I found out I didn’t get the job, backstabbed by my own friend. Perfect, just amazing. So, I decided to lean into my restaurant management experience and see where that would take me. I went to three interviews, and they all offered me jobs with pitiful salaries. Then I got another call, offering me a barista job. I figured, what the hell, at least I’ll have a way to feed myself. I had already sold everything I owned to make the move and needed a place to start. That place was even worse. Only a few of the people were good, the rest, my lord were selfish and disgusting.
A few months later, I did something crazy. I decided to get the hell out of my own country. I had plans to go to the UK or Australia, but I didn’t have the money, so I ended up in the UAE instead. That first month, I went out daily, handing out resumes in the blazing heat. Good lord, the heat was insane. I’d be drenched by the time I reached any building. I was never presentable, sweat covered my face, shirt, and pants.
Then I finally got a job because someone helped me.
I remind myself of this because it’s only been three years since I turned my life around. I’ve accomplished more in these past three years than I ever did in my entire life. I matured really late, and I can feel my body isn’t as strong as it used to be, my spirit not as vibrant. Sometimes, I feel like an empty shell. To be honest, I don’t even know what I’m doing, I’m just going through life, learning whatever I can as I go. Not much has borne fruit. Work is the only place I’ve gained anything. Money is okay, and I’m stable, but I don’t consider myself truly stable. The moment I lose my job, I’m back to zero. For me, financial stability means being able to live for 10 years without working, but right now, I couldn’t survive even 3 months without a salary.
Business isn’t moving much either. Sure, I’ve made a few resumes for people, but I charge very low because I know people won’t pay a lot when they see I don’t have a big name or a huge following. Life can be really disappointing. But in the end, complaining won’t fix anything, so I just need to keep pushing through and see what happens at the end of this dark tunnel we call life.
Thank you for reading.
Pictures made with ChatGPT Image Generator fonts and logo added with Canva by me.
If you love what I do you can also support me other ways all listed below thank you in advance.
Support me by being a Patron atPATREON
📽️ Rumble Earn By Uploading Videos
🎒Learn for free at Alison and get a certificate too!
🏞️ Follow me on social media 🏞️
🪙 Sign up with Binance to withdraw your Hive
🐝 Haven't joined Hive yet? Sign up here PeakD sign up
Or
🃏 Play-to-earn game: Splinterlands 🃏
🎸 Play-to-earn game: Rising Star 🎸
📚 Tutorials by @caelum1infernum 📚
If you want to move2earn AFIT token and Hive sign up here
- Goals in Hive: Raise HP, Delegate more and Improve blogs and videos.
- Keep your expenses low put some into savings and some into investing you need to create passive income financial freedom is the life everyone deserves - caelum1infernum
- The best feeling to be a man is when you can spend money on your mum - caelum1infernum
Gif Made By @aaronlee
Sending you a bigggg !HUG
Do take care my friend. I know it can be hard at times… especially when your thoughts are just going round in circles.
I hope you find a way to think more positive. Writing it down does help… like you already did here. Keep going.
Yea it stuck on my mind today couldn't do anything until I write it down. Now my mind is free again hope it stays that way. Thank you dear friend.
!PIZZA
!HUG
!LUV
@littlebee4, @caelum1infernum(1/5) sent you LUV. | tools | discord | community | HiveWiki | <>< daily
Thats good to hear it did help.
How are you now, a few days later?
Have a wonderful day 😊
!PIZZA
!LUV
@caelum1infernum, @littlebee4(4/10) sent you LUV. | tools | discord | community | HiveWiki | <>< daily
I'm good actually it's just one of those days you feel like nothing is moving after drinking some water and sleep we will be fine the next morning. How about you? Family good?
!PIZZA
!HUG
!LUV
@littlebee4, @caelum1infernum(3/5) sent you LUV. | tools | discord | community | HiveWiki | <>< daily
Good to hear 😊
All good as far as it can be, let’s say.
I just arrived last night back home from a trip abroad for 10 days (no holiday… sadly)
Now catching up and resting a bit.
Have a lovely day 👋🏻
!LOL
!PIZZA
lolztoken.com
I said is that a fret?
Credit: reddit
@caelum1infernum, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of littlebee4
(4/10)
That's good have a good rest 😊
You too have a great day
!DIY
!HOPE
!INDEED
!STRIDE
!WEIRD
Will do 😊
Thank you so much.
!HOPE
!LUV
!PIZZA
@caelum1infernum, sorry! You need more $STR to use this command.
The minimum requirement is 10.0 STR balance.
More $STR is available from Hive-Engine or Tribaldex
You can query your personal balance by
!DIYSTATS$PIZZA slices delivered:
caelum1infernum tipped littlebee4 (x2)
@littlebee4(3/10) tipped @caelum1infernum (x3)
There are days like this, it's cool to be able to reminisce and think through and even more beautiful to write it out like you've done.
You are strong and you have come this far. It might seem like you are stuck or the progress is in bits(it is progress in the right direction).
You’ve been pushing, learning and seeking to get better which is great.
You will eventually get to your desired destination and these stories will be the inspirational stories that led to your success, you’ll see. Just keep at it !luv !hug
@caelum1infernum, @whitneyalexx(1/3) sent you LUV. | tools | discord | community | HiveWiki | <>< daily
Thank you my dear friend 🙏
!LUV
!HUG
!HOPE
@whitneyalexx, @caelum1infernum(1/5) sent you LUV. | tools | discord | community | HiveWiki | <>< daily