I struggle with eye contact, even if it is my friends, family, wife, or others. I tend to look over the top of their heads. I am not very good at it. I think it is more the fact that in the adage "windows to the soul", that I am afraid of the encounter, or perhaps trying to protect the other (which is also what I named my self portrait which is going in my photography exhibition) - from whatever it is that they might see in me.
I am a constantly evolving mass of desires, requirements, doubts, and ambitions, and if I do not share them with the other, I am unable to become hurt.
I am also cognisant of the fact that when its "important" conversation (perhaps about something mundane but profound) - that eye contact is all the more necessary - to ensure that the other is still paying attention.
I think I've said it to you before (or somewhere else on chain) - but when I am photographing portraits, I find it much easier to make the eyecontact "through the lens", than eye contact outside of it. It is a shield, and a proxy of sorts, but I find it more difficult now that my cameras have electronic (instead of analogue) view finders.
A new year is never required for change, so thank you for making me more conscious about eye contact. I'll test it out tomorrow when I'm in public for an exhibition opening! (There'll be a post about that, too!)
But for now, I'm adding "Eye-contact" as self prompt, because I feel like I can write more about it.
I can definitely see how eye contact might be easier through another means - photography (And the abundance of it nowadays) is a great gift in that way, but also (I think) a hindrance. Exposing yourself is a way to get hurt, but also to blossom. Courageous trust, no?
I'm glad you took something from this! Also, did you hear the new Florence song? :) I'm obsessed with it!!
Much better than Everybody Scream - though a friend has gotten my onto the The Last Dinner Party, and very much wow. They're incredible. We have tickets to see them in Jan or Feb, I forget exactly when, but I am certain it is going to be amazing.
Damn! Listening to them now and I must agree, they're amazing. And yes, definitely better than Everybody Scream! Thanks for introducing me to a new artist!
Pleasure! "Scythe" is just an incredible song. It ... pun totally intended - SINGS to me. I love literature and song about mortality and the mundane!