Impulsive decisions and I have taken a long break away from each other, we said our goodbyes close to a decade ago, and just recently we met again.
Actually, it wasn't the most "random-est" of encounters, I sensed it happening a few days before the meeting. It was just one of those YOLO moments, a decision that I had to make between two sides, a tug of war between the heart and the mind. One side being the calm and patient one, the one who would've waited before pulling the trigger, and the other being the "no one knows what the future holds", so you're better off just GOING FOR IT.
I guess that gives us all an idea, on which side may have won that day...
I'm not a fan of impulsive decisions, I've detested it always. The difference is that quite a while back I couldn't really say no, I was the typical yes-man, to myself and others around me. Now I am capable of saying no and thinking rationally; yet, it didn't come easy.
I had to build this habit, solidify it, it didn't come naturally; if anything, I had to go against what was natural to me at that time.
Gaining control over your mind and getting to know yourself, realizing what you truly desire, and differentiating between the right and the wrong, it's the first and most important challenge we as humans should embark on.
Or else, the heart will keep on craving, and the mind will have no say in it...
To act rationally, the involvement of both the mind and the heart is required, which of the two will win in the end? That should depend on our goals, priorities and circumstances.
Before indulging in the pleasures of the present, I always think about the compensation that I might have to pay in the future. To be honest, every now and then I'll take the hit, by taking the irrational route, but I'll also be ready to own it, to pay for the damages.
We're humans after all, our emotions will always be the first one in line, until our rational way of thinking decides to come and intervene. No matter how much we've evolved, I believe we still hold onto a few threads of our primitive instincts, the unga-bunga way of living and behaving.
It might look like I'm regretting my decision now, but I don't have time for regrets, because for me that day the choice was between something good, and something that could've been great. The key word being "could've".
What would you have gone with? A solid good deal now? Or something that "could be" great in the future?
In the end, I guess I went with the "inferior" choice, but, as they say in our language...
শখ এর দাম লাখ টাকা
And for now, I rejoice.
The very little of what I once used to call mine, after losing it all during Covid, I've worked hard and I've laid the foundation over these past 2 years or so. I've kept my emotions aside and have only focused on providing and securing. It was just a matter of time, till one day I let my emotions take the helm.
I've kept myself away from frivolous spendings, I've provided for the ones around me, putting their needs and wants first. All that I've gotten myself was the bare minimum so that I can get through another 3 to 4 years or so.
Impulsive decisions or not, I plan on working twice as hard from here on. As things are slowly falling into place, it's now up to me to maintain my pace and position.
