I have to admit I can not imagine by any means how you felt back then and how you feel today. But you described something I am experiencing with my parents at present time. Mom, 87, got out of surgery a few weeks ago, she broke her leg and due to the surgery anesthesia her alzheimer's condition got really worse. We, our three brothers and father visit her every day at the recovery hospital she is staying for the moment, we are by her side all the hours visitors can be around and you can see day by day her condition is getting worse, losing memory, not finding the words to describe what she is intending to tell you and feeling sad several times while you are there with her. The doctors say she will not be able to walk again due to her mental condition, she needs assistance for almost everything while she could do just about everything before surgery. All my brothers realize of the situation, but my dad acts as she just needs to exercise to reinforce her leg and will be able to walk again and come back home.
The situation is not easy, mom will have to leave this recovery hospital in 15 days and we have to decide if taking her to a nursing home or to the family house with my father which is what she keeps asking for and what my dad also wants expecting everything will come back to "normality".
We will see how everything evolves, but at this time, all we can do is try to comfort both, mom and dad and be by their side as much as we can which is several hours a day.
PS. Both photos look great but I really love the second one of both of your girls wearing a similar dress.
That is a really hard situation and I feel for you. It is impossible to know what is right to do, or what is best for those involved given the complications, plus the sense of dignity people deserve. It is obviously easier to go into nursing care, but what happens to quality of life for both mother and father? Is it better to have them together and experience those last times together? Is your father able to care for her enough, or will it be a burden that is too much for him, especially emotionally?
Whatever you choose, I am sure you and your family will make the right decision for all considered. Sometimes I think that unless we can prolong mental acuity, we shouldn't be putting too much effort into prolonging life. I don't mean that in a cruel way, but from my own perspective. The worst thing that could have happened with the stroke is that people would be forced to look after me. Death is preferable to that for me.
Oh, that first image in the kitchen, is also the place where I had the stroke. Nice.