When work and play and community and obligation mix, things can get tangled pretty quickly but I wouldn't have it any other way.
The following may have a slight sense of complaining but the problem isn't my lifestyle as much as the fact that I am in an awkward stage where I'm not quite ready to be as active as I want and need to be. By Spring next year I hope to have this solved.
I don't want play to feel like an obligation, but it's inevitable when you befriend other artists and are in a place where there is so much going on. That's not to say I don't enjoy every bit of it, I do! The issue is just making sure I have time for myself.
I would actually prefer to sit with a friend or two and chat than just go to event after event, but that's not really how Tokyo communities work. Everyone has a project, a band, a craft, a shop, and maintaining relationships means spending a lot of time and money on "making the rounds".
I try to do this as little as possible because I want to be sincere, but there are some situations where it's difficult.
Example 1: You become acquainted with an artist you respect and want to keep that relationship with them. You plan to go to their show...but get too busy, or get sick, or have work, or are just too tired and cancel....6 times...10 times. 4 years pass. You see them once but don't have a chance to talk. Do they even remember you anymore? You want to go to the show for the music and cause you love what they do but you don't even feel you have time for yourself. Do you let the budding relationship fade or push to renew it?
Example 2: Your friend has their first exhibition. You know how hard it is to put yourself out there and really want to support them, but you went out 4 times this week, and you had work as usual on top of that. You only have time on Thursday, the one day you wanted to focus on your own project.....
Example 3: A big chunk of the community is going camping in 2 weeks....finally you have a blank weekend to just rest and recharge and focus on your own thing. This is where the community really connects and get to know each other better....but urghhh, you can't be bothered, so you'll remain on the edge of the community? That will hurt when you want to organize your own events, but so be it? You can't be everywhere and do everything?
Example 4: A music studio has it's 30th year anniversary, 2 days of music from morning to night. You plan to see 3 bands on Saturday and 2 bands on Sunday, half friends and half bands you like. You don't really have time on Sunday because you are working a flea market, but you've wanted to see one friend play for over 2 years and still haven't so you slip out for 40 minutes to watch her play (and catch the tail end of another friend). As you are leaving you see that the next artist is someone else you know and have wanted to see, but you need to get back to the flea market. He tells you he has another show next week....you'll have to rush to see him after work...or you can skip it and miss him two times in a row, after missing him for a whole year. You want to show him you support him and hear his music but ughhh it's just too much.
These are wonderful problems to have, don't get me wrong, but oh boy is it hard to manage your free time and personal time. It may be hard to imagine but this is the life of an independent artist in a community of artists.
While most people want to separate their work and play, the best thing I could do for myself would be to combine more of my work and play.
If I could have done this week over here is what I would have done:
1 I would have asked the organizer of my partners exhibition if I could play a pay-what-you-want show as a kind of opening or closing party. She most definitely would have agreed and it wouldn't have been hard on me since I was there anyway.
2 I would have asked the studio if I could play at their anniversary although I've never practiced there. I think they'd have let me and that way, I would have been able to combine my show and my friends show which makes life easier. It also gives friends a chance to come along with me to a show they might otherwise skip.
and here are some things I want to focus on in the future:
3 Teaching music in a way that allows me to combine practice, english lessons, music lessons, collaborations. Kill as many birds with one stone as I can. I have a few ideas that I think people will love, I've just gotta get on it.
4 Organizing shows where my partner can sell her hats. We can prioritize these over regular flea markets, especially those which don't attract as many of our kinds of customers. I can also play those shows with the very same people I want to watch play and combine our crowds which could make up for whatever community event I miss.
5 Going to ask that musician I respect if I can play the show he organizes in November!
I think things will be easier to manage once I get more comfortable playing a variety of shows...that way more people will have me in mind to book for these gigs and I can just kind of follow my own schedule and catch the shows that overlap with it instead of always trying to fit everything in.
As much as it feels like a bad idea to be a hermit for the next 2 or 3 months, it's probably not a bad idea, and luckily the summer season is when things get the craziest and that is finally winding down.
The idea is to become that active by April or May next year when things start picking up again!
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This is much the same as optimising one's route around the supermarket when buying groceries. Stack as many activities into the one thing as possible. Get it all done at the same time. It is why I ask people at the checkout strange and bizarre questions. I want them to have an unforgettable experience aat their workplace. :D
Hahaha that’s great, I want to be asked strange questions when I’m buying my groceries. I want to see the staff dance and sing and play, as long as they don’t overcharge me
"How many customers have you wanted to throw a frozen chicken nugget packet at today?" As they scan my chicken nuggets.
At 29 years old, the idea of having a good time boils down to going for a coffee with my wife or my friends and telling each other stories and gossip about each other. It's hard to make time even for things like that when you're involved in so many projects: dogs have four legs, but they can only walk on one path 😉