I went into the city to have lunch with ex-colleagues today, and of course most of the time was spent talking about the place we all worked at, even though two out of the four no longer work there. The company has gone through some large changes in many ways, and is not the same as it once was, not that long ago. It is a business administration SaaS company as well, which means it is going to suffer the slings and arrows of AI agents reducing the need for licenses. It is already having an effect on industry evaluations.
One of friends (the other no longer working there) is now in psychotherapy and since she had nowhere to be, we walked and talked for a long time about lots of different issues. She and I have a lot of overlapping interests and agree on a lot, but also disagree on a huge amount to. It is refreshing to speak with this group, because we all have our opinions and can argue for them, but there is no animosity or attacks, just discussion. It is rare in a lot of conversations with diverse groups now.
One of the many topics we talked about is the heuristic I have used since I was a kid, Knowing isn't Doing. It seems obvious, but a lot of life these days is using a lot of tools to "do" something more effectively, efficiently or easily, but the person themselves doesn't actually know how to do it themselves. An easy example is making an image or cutting and pasting using AI, where the result is far better than the person can produce themselves, but they did nothing. There is no skill, and the skill in prompting is reducing to zero also.
But what we talked about more was how a lot of therapy is much the same, where the time is spent talking about and "understanding" the problems, but not actually doing anything to repair or mitigate the issues. It is all intellectual, which may work for some issues depending on how they formed, but most of the time won't ever be enough to affect behaviours. As I see it, the reason that logically thinking through problems isn't going to work, is that most of the issue lays in much older areas of our brain than the prefrontal cortex. We can't logic our way out of it, if behaviours are triggered by much older parts of our brain, that will override the newer. So unless we find ways to short-circuit the behavioural loops, we will keep on repeating the habit.
This means that for most of our issues, we are approaching the solution the wrong way around. Instead of thinking through to solve the problem we are having within ourselves first, we should discover what actions we need or want to take, what kind of person we want to be, and then *do those actions. It isn't going to be perfect and suddenly we will be cured, but the process will start to retrain the older parts of the brain with new habits and in the process, give a huge amount of insight into the problems anyway.
We are Physical, Emotional, Mental and Social animals that require a balance across all components to truly have personal stability. However, due to the way we have set up our environment, we are increasingly out of sync with ourselves and while many might "know" something is wrong, few will actually dig deep enough to understand what that something is, and what needs to be done about it - let alone take the steps to act. Even most of those who go to therapy aren't actually looking for a cure, they are hoping for more tools to help them cope.
But no matter how much we know or how many tools we have, if we aren't able to apply them to our world in a way that not only keeps us from pain but helps us grow in potential, we are holding ourselves back. We are reducing ourselves and most likely, putting ourselves further out of sync in key parts of our life, as we keep reacting to the situation, rather than acting so we have control of ourselves in the situation.
This is a bitter pill to swallow for many though, because they don't want to believe that they have the ability to help themselves, because helping oneself is inconvenient, often difficult, mistakes can be made, and there is no one to blame. But, most of the daily problems we face that end up causing large problems in our life, only take a little bit of adjustment in how we behave.
Taraz
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You are right about therapy sessions. I don't feel there is much I get out of mine right now. However, I am sticking with it just in case something clicks for me down the road. Not a bitter pill for me. Know I got issues and working through them. Some days a stumble, but days like yesterday I get small wins.
Therapy can be great, but it isn't the cure. Many people seem to go because they think that they will get an answer that means they don't have to do anything. I know that is not you. Answers might come, but application is a must.
Yeah, I look to my therapist as more of a coach. It is more up to me to figure out the solutions.
Yep. I am hoping to get back to a therapist some time. Money permitting.
There's a bitter pill, like I've always maintained, for everyone. And you either take yours now and be happy in the future, or take it later when it'd be a most bitter pill.
You either endure inconvenience now fixing your life, or you endure greater inconvenience in the future from the consequences of not fixing your life.
Like I said, it's unavoidable. The quicker one realizes this, they quit trying to dodge discomfort and embrace it. If it
Most choose later, right?
Nice pictures, looks very different than USA :) What are those black metal looking structures? Fancy street light poles?
There used to be beautiful trees lining both sides of the street - now those poles. They are for the tram electricity.
Oh I see :) I was thinking that it would be an overkill for the light poles...
It was sad to see the trees grow. It used to look really nice.
I think understanding our problem is important, but if we fail to turn that understanding into action, we might end up stuck.
If we can't apply it, we don't know enough about it.
I share some of your points. There's a plethora of advice out there how to get out of basically any situation, yet I don't quite think the results follow. It is simply because the vast majority of us are inept to action.
That's why I respect those who 'do' more than anything
Me too. Words are nice, but not enough.
I realized one thing a long time ago: feeling sorry for myself is detrimental to my health and my work. It's detrimental to my family. That's why I'd rather die than feel sorry for myself for even a minute, let alone suffer a long-term depression.
Dying isn't so bad.
Amazing, is great to have a support group, specially when you have constructive discussions, it only give to you a form to grown in your life.
I think so. I wish I could have more discussions like with these people.
I AM NOT! I am differently abled. :P
yea.. AI agents.. argghhh!!
Funny that they call them agents, eh? ;D
Well you do have to identify the problem before you can fix it right?
Sibling dearest and I have alternating giggles and exasperation about AI directors who try to claim anything other than what they are.
I don't see anything wrong per se with being a director
Can you explain/expand on this please?
I guess that makes most people pantsers XD
honestly I find pantsing a lot more fun but then trying to fix all the plot holes in a more complicated story is a different kind of fun