Do you find that having those photos makes it easier to hold onto the old you?
Before the stroke, I remembered places through photographs, but not just the image. Before I would take a photo I would take in the surroundings and experience and then decide to take an image. When I see the image later, I am able to recall the mental process to take the photo, so it meant having the experience of the moment too. Not sure if that is explained well. Now though, I think it is more like most people use photos, where it is a snapshot of the place, not the experience, as I experience everything differently. It is more flat now, less variation in my emotional or mental state.
As far as remembering who I was, it is strange because that person lives inside still, but has been cut off from his abilities. I explain it like the feeling of remembering doing a somersault as a child, where the body still feels like it can do it - and then actually trying to do it as an adult. My head still thinks it can do things it actually can't. Or feeling young - and then looking in the mirror and seeing your father ;)
It is a bit like being in a prison, with windows that look out to the previous life of freedom.
Thank you for sharing that. Thats pretty deep and makes me feel for you for sure. Especially the part about being in prison with windows and seeing the previous life of freedom.
My challenge is not near like yours. But I do find myself loooking back and thinking that was a different person. Even my wife and kids say my demeanor has changed. And it has, and it wasn't intentional, but it was for the good. I used to be very high strung. Now I am very low key. But I used to be very energetic, now I am a slugo. My brain used to go 100 mph, now it is like it is working thorugh mud. Its like I was a pod person, and replaced the old version of me.