We Talk Friday
(WTF)
This is a semi-regular series that I will run on Fridays to hold discussions on a current topic from the week gone. The aim is to keep them light and conversational, though some might be heavier - regardless of the content topic itself though, just have some fun engaging and discussing with whoever happens to put in the effort in the comments section below.
We Talk Friday Ep. 38: What's Good?
For a bit of a different WTF conversation this week, I am looking to crowdsource some perspectives and opinions on what makes a good person. I think it is often pretty clear what makes a bad person, though there are many caveats involved, but when it comes to defining what is good, what do you look for? How do you describe a good person in a couple sentences? What traits are involved and is there a uniform base level set of traits a good person must have? Is a good person always good? Can a bad person become a good person? Can a good person turn bad?
Some of these questions seem pretty obvious to answer, but I suspect that most of us haven't actually put much thought into our definition of a good person, and instead just use our intuition to decide. The same intuition that chooses the wrong partners. The same intuition that judged that person incorrectly. The same intuition that we almost never audit to see if it is indeed accurate.
I am heading to bed a bit earlier tonight, so will get to comments in the morning or so, but I am hoping for two things in the comments.
- A couple sentences to describe a good person.
- A set of five or so words to label a good person.
It would also be great to see people engaging with others to discuss perspectives further, since there might be cultural differences, unexpected views, or maybe some "I wish I'd thought of that" points.
And as always, have some fun with it too.
Taraz
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I think that 'good' and 'bad' are way too simplistic. People have multitudes will act differently in similar circumstances depending on where they are in their lives. Who gets to judge whether an action of mine is 'good' or 'bad'? What happens when some people think I did something 'good' but other people think it's 'bad'. It's all completely subjective.
Source
People that I admire, however, are empathetic and act in a way that makes it clear that they want life to be better for themselves, their family, their friends, their community, complete strangers and future generations.
So, what is your definition?
I don't think there is such a thing as a good person or a bad person because we can never truly know someone's intentions.
So in your daily life, do you then assume everyone intends harm, or everyone intends kindness? You must have some kind of heuristic.
It depends on the context. In dealing with people face to face, I assume people have kind intentions until I gather more information. Dealing with cold phone calls, cold emails or crypto, I assume harmful intentions.
I do think we can gather a lot of information very quickly, so I'll assume kind intentions in person but if someone's body language or tone of voice suggests otherwise then I'll adjust those expectations and potentially my behaviour/reactions accordingly - and totally understand that I'm awkward and won't always get it right.
So you are looking for particular signals, right? So what signals stand out as someone that you assume is good?
I think my default is to assume people have kind intentions, which I think is generally true, so I don't think I'm looking out for signals exactly... it's more a case of assuming kind intentions unless there are reasons to think otherwise... but it would have to be pretty targeted.
I've had people scream at me in the street, but if I suspect they're going through mental health issues then I'll just ignore them.
I do think assuming kind intentions gives you a much less stressful life.
I think depend of the case.
If the oportunities let, they will be bad very sad.
I think that's what I believe too - it's pretty universal.
Yeah, it seems pretty common sense to me... I'd like to imagine the vast majority of people want to have a positive impact on the world.
A good person tries to leave things better than they found them. They are not perfect, but try.
Five words off the top of my head: Honest. Consistent. Accountable. Kind. Present.
Can good people go bad? Yeah. Can bad people go good? Yeah. People aren't static. We're all somewhere on the "good person" meter, and what matters is what direction we are moving on it.
It is a spectrum, isn't it? And while we can exist along it depending on circumstance, I think sone people spend more time at one a d, and sone more at the other.
ok, spectrum. I tend to agree that some are more good than others on that spectrum. It's too bad we don't have real meters attached to us like cars that show where we are on that spectrum at any given time. I wonder how we would start behaving if we did?
I was telling my daughter a story of my dad the other day. His village was taken by the Japanese and the villagers ran into the forest. My grandma with four young children, my aunty being a baby. The Japanese were ordered to emu parade (walk in a line) and shoot people on site. My grandma couldn't run anymore so hid under a large leaf in the jungle with the kids. My dad remembered the muzzle of a gun coming in, lifting the leaf and the face of a young Japanese soldier there, making a "shhh" signal with his finger. Then lowering the leaf. They were surrounded by gunfire.
Some people choose not to follow orders and instead inhabit the other side of the spectrum.
Wish we had more people like that right now.
Oooh, accountable is nice!
I believe a good person is someone who always think about if his future actions harm another person in any kind of situations. Of course good people coul turn Bad: In Batman Dark Might, Harvey Dent becomes in Two Faces, Walter White in Breaking Bad becomes in Haisenberg.
Ooh, I like that definition. It makes the "libe in the moment" people more likely to do harm, since they aren't thinking of the consequences of their actions now, right?
Exactly
I'm going to do this before I read the comments, then I'll publish, then come back and add a few things according to what I've read.
A good person thinks about others and understands they are part of web. They know that what they do, how they act and speak, impacts people around them for the better or worse. They might make mistakes, but they learn from these and become better. They aren't scared to stand up for injustice. They care about their impact on the environment and animals. They know what they do in life can impact future generations.
Compassionate, empathetic, considerate, thoughtful, kind.
EDIT
Huh, looks like everyone in the comments thought similiarly. That's pretty cool. Maybe we do all have a pretty good idea of what makes a good person. Then why do we fuck up all the time?
I think that for good interaction between people, you need to have an understanding of the person next to you and, based on this, conduct a conversation with him. Proper interaction is not a direct expression of one's point of view (often without taking into account the point of view of the interlocutor), it is not an expression of grievances and discontent, but a gentle, loving attitude towards the person opposite. To do this, it is important to curb your ego, keep your emotions under control and sincerely respect your interlocutor.
I think that this is one of the keys. It doesn't guarantee goodness (Hitler knew) but it means that they are looking further ahead than just themselves.
I think so. Of course, this is a selection bias problem on this post, but I reckon if for instance we asked people from the left and the right in the US, there would be a lot of overlap in the middle.
Because we focus on ourselves.
What's a Good Person?
A good old lady and a good drink, that's good... that's what I thought, that it's a good person.
As Benito Juárez, the Mexican, said, "Respect for the rights of others is peace." That's my phrase... a good person is one who doesn't mess with others' lives, that's enough.
People go around messing with others just for kicks. So, a good person is a loner, someone who preaches by example... being kind while others mess with your life... like my damn neighbor throwing food on my roof for cats to use as a toilet... that's pure malice. Good thing years catch up and karma collects.
A person without religiosity who respects your beliefs in whatever God you want and doesn't get mad at your Rock-God. Someone who educates their kids well... that's what I'm looking for.
What if the person is messing with other's lives and someone chooses to mess with their life?
What! People are insane.
A good person is someone whose private actions match their public words. It’s less about what they say they believe and more about how they treat people when there’s absolutely nothing in it for them. My five words: Reliable, Kind, Humble, Sincere, Fair.
I think that this is an important factor too. Even when no one is around, they still have ethical behaviour.
I think a good person is someone who pays attention to others more than they talk and always tries to understand before wanting to be understood.
That is an interesting take. I have to think more as to if it is enough, because I think a bad person could do the same, and then manipulate the situation :)
A good person..umm..pretty hard to find these days. But for me, good person is someone with strong ethics. They should shows care and respect for others. They act with fairness, offer help, listen well, and build trust through their reliable, actions, bringing a positive difference to the world.
Fairness is always a hard one, because these days, too many see "fair" as being having the same, regardless of differences in person and behaviour.
Infact noone is bothered about fareness...everyone is selfish centered and selfish always looking for own advantage and benefit at every situation.
I'm the worst person, so I got nothing for you. I'm actually heading to bed early tonight too. For a Friday anyway. Gotta hit the road before the sun comes up tomorrow.
Hope you are heading for a great weekend somewhwere!
Thank you!
A good person is polite, polite in his words and behavior and modest in his behavior. A good person always knows how to evaluate other people. And people with the opposite behavior are bad. However, many bad people are also seen to become good in the contact of good people or with a little care and attention, while many good people are seen to become bad due to coming into contact with bad people.
Perhaps a good person is good when no one is around and doesn't need to be?
“If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”
Apparently this quote is from Sirius Black. I was sure that those words were said by either Hermione or Dumbledore...I guess my knowledge of Harry Potter is not as good as I assumed.
But basically people who support aggression/war on other countries/ individuals or the scum who torture animals are not a good people.
I think the quote has roots much older than Harry Potter :)
A good person is a deep, conscious empath. And it's hard to turn them into a bad person. I immediately notice such (rare) people and understand them instantly.
I heavily question empathy, as it doesn't necessarily lead to any action. Compassion on the other hand doesn't require feeling or even understanding the feelings of the other, just recognising that someone is feeling and might require help. And then helping.
I don't understand compassion without empathy. A person must understand another person's feelings; we are not machines, and I hope we are not all complete egoists.
To have empathy requires understanding the situation and assuming the emotional state of the person. Having compassion, just requires seeing that they are struggling and are in need. It doesn't require "being like" or assuming understanding of the other person. I find it crazy that so many people believe that they know how others are feeling.
I think a good person is someone who on balance brings more good into this world than bad. They also do the right thing when nobody is watching when it costs them something (for example at least their time and effort).
Cheers