Earlier today while I was sweeping the compound, I was just meditating and reflecting on life. I was reflecting on my life as a whole, I remembered that it was November 23rd already and it still seems to me like yesterday.
I do not know if it is only me that noticed how fast this year have been, in less than 35 days the year would be coming to an end and that made me to think deeper.
What have I really achieved this year? What can I be proud of this year? What experiences have I gathered to make me a better person for the next year? All these questions kept roaming in my mind and I smiled.
You know when the year begins we all begin with strength, hopes and dreams of things to be achieved, most times we start up things with new energy, set up new year resolutions but after January that feeling starts dying down.
Earlier in this year I was just like that, I wrote so many things I wanted to do differently, I wrote down things I had wanted to achieve. I remember telling myself that I would have to learn tech skills at least two this year, start a proper personal development routine, be an effective time manager, reading more books, improving in my music skills, take up some new courses and lots more.
This year was fully packed but most of those things never happened, not that it would not have been possible but I kept procrastinating and making excuses all because I felt I still had enough time to learn so much this year.
Now we are dancing to December and none of that has happened. I know this year was a bit difficult one, I had lots of challenges, I had lots of things pulling me back, life kept happening but still, I believe that is not an excuse.
I had chances and opportunities to do some things but sometimes procrastination sets in, academic pressure, emotional exhaustion and some moments when I simply did not have enough strength to carry on anything.
All those dreams have been postponed now and I was wondering within myself, why couldn’t I do them? I realized that to sometimes I couldn’t achieve them because I wanted everything to be perfect before starting, I wanted the perfect time. I wanted the perfect place, perfect mindset, mood and all of that. When all these wasn’t perfect I ended up doing nothing, I guess I had forgotten already that even life itself is not perfect.
Also pressure was another great factor, I felt the need to achieve so many things at the same time, I forgot about the rule of process. I wanted to achieve so many things this year all at once. So instead of me starting small and taking it one step at a time I wanted to just do everything. I loaded my mind with lots of dreams and expectations, when all these never happened I started losing motivation.
Let me not try to be all negative because I also had some positive side this year. Although I could not achieve some things but I have gathered experiences to keep me through the next year.
I have spent time with elderly ones, with people who have been through a lot and achieved so much, I have learnt from them too.
I now understand that some years are meant for personal, emotional and mental growth and not just tied to the things we yearn to achieve.
The growth process and experience was very necessary. I now understand better that not everything follows the timeline we put up. Even in cell cycle there would always be an interphase, a stage for the cell to grow, replicate its DNA before undergoing mitosis or meiosis.
Looking back now, I don’t feel I was actually lazy but instead I was fueling my life so I could achieve better. Now I learn to achieve things with every little step I take and I have learnt to believe in progress, process and not perfection.
There’s nothing like the perfect time to get anything done, if I want to do them I just have to start anyways, doing it a step at a time.
I must have postponed my dreams but there are not failed dreams instead I have learnt better ways to get it done with ease.
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