https://pixabay.com/photos/grey-heron-bird-fish-hunting-heron-4353038/
Think of someone you dislike. Someone who arouses negative feelings in you... Anger, hatred, resentment, envy...
One important thing you need to understand is this:
These negative feelings only exist within you, not in the person who triggers them!
You are responsible for these negative feelings, not the other person. The anger, hatred, resentment, and envy are felt by you... and within you!
Someone else in your place might not care about the other person's presence. They would remain calm, at peace, without even provoking a feeling of revulsion...
They would not let themselves be affected by the other person. But in your case, this is practically impossible. Something as real as breathing itself...
Notice one thing:
“Why are we affected?”
Because we have a demand, an expectation of that person.
“What does that mean?”
We want the other person to behave according to our expectations, and when they don't, we feel hurt, resentful, and uncomfortable.
These feelings are just a reflection of something that is not in the other person. But something that we create and that affects us. Only us... Nothing will change the situation, let alone the behavior in question.
What is the logic behind this?
I hope this little reflection will free some of you from this catch-22 situation...
Free image from Pixabay.com
Well spoken @xrayman, all these emotions are within us and we are suppose to be in control of them by not allowing any third party to trigger it at will.
Tudo (muito bem) dito!
Abraço e bom fim de semana.