Image by Hermann Traub from Pixabay
We are conditioned to think that we can fail, that there is nothing wrong with trying again. And that we will have another chance. In most situations, that is what actually happens. But there are some exceptions.
One of them is first impressions. How many of you have had an interaction with someone or something that left you with a bitter taste in your mouth or a marked disappointment?
Most likely, there is no one who has not had this experience in their lifetime. Either on the side of the disappointed, or on the side of the disappointing. But what contributes to this? Why are we disappointed, or why did we expect that event or interaction to be different?
Were we completely free of prejudice, or on the other hand, had we created unrealistic expectations?
We are constantly looking for reasons to be interested in our surroundings, and this is not limited to experiences, but also interactions. We often look at a person and make value judgments or assumptions that do not correspond to reality at all. Of course, this can happen to us and also work against us. But should we worry about it?
I think we can neither assign too high nor too low a value. We should always strive to give our best, but we have to be realistic and realize that we cannot always please everyone.
If we are all virtually unique, why do we think we can please everyone? Isn't that an unrealistic expectation that we have within us, which ends up consuming our energy or limiting our actions and interactions? In a way, yes, but it can also be something more liberating.
Let's look at the following situation: On our first day of in-person class, in a course we have just started attending, or in a class or workshop for an activity we have just begun, we notice that someone else in the audience arouses our curiosity. There is something about them that makes our mind project some of their physical characteristics or actions and compels us to approach them or try to get to know them better. Well, if in that first impression, when the dialogue begins, they say something we are not expecting... our brain goes into overdrive. It may be something that surprises us in a positive way and ends up captivating us even more; or, on the other hand, it may be an opinion, a comment, or even a lack of clarity of thought that leads us to believe that the projection, the idealism we had established, was practically and completely wrong.
And when that first impression is the best, then even if the interaction is brief, it ends up being very memorable. Who doesn't remember that summer fling, which only took place during our teenage summer vacations, but which has remained in our minds to this day? This gives importance to the event, but it does not mean that it has influenced the rest of our lives.
Sometimes, we only have one chance. Not moving forward for fear of making a bad impression cannot be our choice. We must move forward. If we are always conditioned, we only move forward in situations where we are certain, but which may not even turn out as well as we hope, and those that we initially thought would be a real failure can magically become unique and wonderful memories, which will not change our lives, but which will always be remembered with great enthusiasm.
Therefore: Move forward!
Free image from Pixabay.com
Original text written by me in Portuguese and translated with DeepL.com (free version)
First impressions can sometimes be a make or break situation for what comes afterwards when the first initial interaction has passed. I've had a couple of bad first impressions that end up being unjustified when I came to know more of the person, which I think could be a good rule of thumb to not take first impressions too seriously and find a way to work through the initial feelings experienced. Moving forward is a constant practice for people like me who a curious generally about the universe(s) that other people inhabit :)