What a great reflection... I can relate so much with your reflection exercise!
The loneliness is because there aren't any suitable people we want, not because we are not a suitable person.
Many times I consider myself half broken, 'cause I feel like I like a alien type of person... heading for trying to "see" things differently.
Thankfully, I'm more the type of the ones that blame himself for being unable to accept how things occur, and for many times being incapable of seeing the bright side of situations.
But one thing is for sure, I'm not in the "rush mode" of having the absolute need of having everything on demand at the moment ;)
I wonder if there were a binary option of "blame self" and "blame others" which leads to greater self-development?
You are absolutely right... We travel from side to side, even in the same though, I cannot imagine to maintain always the "same" option... Well, but that can be seen as a "positive" thing. Change is always expected and can happens even in the most stubborn bloke!