Good morning to all the users of this beautiful, motivating and reflective community. Today I want to join in answering the question ❓ posed by @gsbilbao as a way to make introspection and evaluate certain behaviors in my person that have led me in recent days to suffer from common depression due to extreme perfectionism.
🇪🇦 Portada realizada utilizando los elementos gratuitos de las aplicaciones móviles de InShot y Canva 📸 // 🇺🇲 Cover made using the free elements of the InShot and Canva mobile apps 📸
Since I was a child I have always been a very curious, observant, critical and perfectionist person. I remember with great pride that since school, my parents never bothered to check my notebooks to see if I had my homework done since I was always very responsible with my homework. As I got older I also learned that keeping my room clean and tidy; my clothes washed, folded and put away was also my responsibility. I didn't see it as a burden or a nuisance because I like order.
When I was in college I remember that I stopped going out with my friends because Saturdays and Sundays were sacred in my house for cleaning. I always did it very diligently but with stress because I forced myself to do these household chores so that my house would look spotless. It should be noted that no one asked me to do it, but no one bothered to help me either.
Over time I became very obsessive about tidiness and cleanliness until today. I have not been clinically declared by any doctor but I don't think I need to be. I remember clearly that the days of full cleaning in my house in Venezuela were so exhaustive and demanding because I did everything by myself. At the end of the chore I could not even lie down because of the immense back pain that killed me. It was an unbearable pain and all to keep my house spotless.
Now I ask myself: Is it necessary to be perfectionists all the time? Not really. But I am a lover of order and I don't know why. Now as a new mom, this obsessive perfectionism with keeping my home neat and spotless is taking its toll on me again. In addition to breastfeeding and playing with my baby, the daily stress of doing housework manifests itself in me through neck pain, aches and pains throughout my spine and severe migraines.
You may ask: But why are you like this? - Why don't you take your obsession with cleanliness and order down a notch? - Why does your house always have to be perfectly tidy? - It's a bit complicated to explain, as I've tried to take a day off without doing anything but it's impossible. Call me crazy but I sweep about 10 times a day. The apartment where I currently live in Tenerife is small but I think the mess is more noticeable and as a result, I get stressed.
My daily routine when I get up is to have a cup of coffee and then I start to fix the living room furniture because my husband sleeps in it, organize the cushions, wash the toilet bowl and the sink, I fix the bed where I sleep with my baby because I co-sleep, if there are clothes to wash I put a washing machine, I make breakfast for my baby because my husband makes my breakfast, I feed my baby, I eat, I hang out the laundry and when I realize it, it's time for my baby's nap. It's exhausting!
The truth is that my husband helps me a lot at home but the stress I have for these daily activities sometimes takes its toll on me and turns into depression. Situation that I have not talked to anyone about until today that I am writing about it. A week ago I was procrastinating too much and I was waking up stressed and angry. I was letting a lot of things accumulate to do and I knew I had to do them but I didn't dare. I didn't understand this behavior in me and when I realized it, I was overcome with depression.
Thank God these common depressive episodes pass quickly. I don't get tearful but I do overthink things over and over again. My brain doesn't stop and that is also very exhausting. I am always looking for alternatives or tools to help me improve and alleviate this stress of perfectionism of wanting to do everything myself. Because if I don't do it myself, I really feel it's not well done.
Among these activities are: going for a few minutes walk on my street with my baby to breathe clean air and be able to observe and interact with other people, sitting on a bench in a nearby park to watch the puppies being walked. I always take an hour to clear my mind so I can feel better ❤️🩹 I also like to do crafts even though the weather sometimes doesn't favor me.
I am aware that I have to take life easy because I already have someone to take care of: my son. Although it's not easy, at least I'm trying. How did I develop such a perfectionist? - I don't know. But I try to always look for ways to eradicate stress and do things that I enjoy, like sewing, doing some express craft or making a dessert, since I love cooking.
I think the most important thing is to know how to identify and accept what you have or suffer. Although sometimes it is hard for me to find the North, I make the greatest possible effort to lead my life calmly and stress-free in order to continue enjoying it and those I love to the fullest.
Gracias por leerme 😅 Nos vemos pronto 🌈✨🦋
Thanks for reading me 😅 See you soon 🌈✨🦋
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La verdad es que a veces hacemos tantas cosas que parece que el tiempo es muy corto, necesitamos más y nos agobiamos. Es difícil y más si tienes un bebé, hay que hacer más cosas de lo normal, te entiendo perfectamente, que bueno que tu pareja te ayuda. Poco a poco, se van emparejando las cargas, que bien que te tomas un tiempo para salir y respirar aire puro.
Hola @hylene74 Estoy aprendiendo y trabajando el hecho de que tomar un descanso no está mal y que la casa no se viene abajo por no barrer un día 🙈😅 Gracias por tu comentario.
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Tú historia con le de la limpieza es igualita a la de mi mamá jajaj, así que me es fácil entenderte un poco con respecto a eso. Creo que es algo difícil quitarse el hábito de querer que el orden y la limpieza sea como uno quiere, por eso siempre tenemos que asumir toda esa carga, claro, ser limpio y ordenado es una virtud, aún así, espero que eso no te afecte tanto, tú bienestar es primero, y eso se lo digo a mi madre también. Un placer leerte! Saludos.
Así es, mi amor. Gracias por tu bonito comentario. Tomaré el consejo ♥️🦋✨
Hola :) Creo que ante está situación lo más importante es que te hayas dado cuenta de que tenés que relajarte un poco. A veces sentimos que no llegamos pero solo es la demasiada exigencia que cargamos en nuestros hombros. Mientras tú familia esté bien y tengan un techo donde vivir, el orden puede ser secundario. Mejor disfrutar las cosas buenas sin obsesionarse demasiado con cosas menores.
Te mando un saludo, espero que estés bien. Besos 😚😘
Hola mi estimada @lauramica. Aunque incomprensible para mí ser, así es... Hay días en que me lo tomo con calma, otros no tanto. Pero ahí voy, aprendiendo a saber cuándo hay que descansar y tomar una pausa. Muchas gracias por tu comentario ❤️
En mi época de universidad también me consideraba perfeccionista o bueno, eso era lo que decían de mí, pero hasta cierto punto eso puede perjudicar nuestra relación con los demás. Poco a poco nos vamos examinando y evaluando nuestros límites, porque querer hacer las cosas bien no es malo.
Saludos... linda tu publicación.