Each week I keep a journal entry reflecting on things I've learned about myself as I break through my depression and C-PTSD trauma. Often I capture my thoughts in poetry.... sometimes dreary, sometimes wistful.
As a writer, there's always an inclination to be more introspective than most and there's the added layer of metacognition. My goal is always the same though, to share words of wisdom I may have picked up, and to share in a thoughtful, creative, and inspiring way to hopefully encourage others on their own path of mental healing.
Time As a Broken Promise
Inhale and exhale time,
Someday everything dies.
We beg, barter, borrow,
For the broken promise of tomorrow.
But if that promise comes true,
We've another day to make due,
Or beg, barter, and borrow,
Until joy loses its sorrow.
I wrote this poem while reflecting on a core wound I recently became aware of. My core wound of feeling not good enough. Some of us may feel defective, others may feel abandoned, and others may feel trapped. My wound has always been loud and clear: I've never felt good enough for anything. Whether that's being good enough as a daughter or as a romantic partner.
I found this unhealthy thinking spiling over into different areas of my life including work, friendships, family dynamics, and most significantly in my relationship with myself. While I kept wanting others to treat me like I'm good enough, in hopes that I could finally feel as though this sentiment was true, I realized this was unfair of me to outsource this very big responsibility and expect others to carry it. Now I'm ready to show up for myself and to stop letting time pass me by.
If feeling not good enough happens to be your struggle too, give yourself permission to reframe your thoughts and participate with time to move forward and love yourself.
Here are some prompter questions I got from a therapy exercise that's helped me on my way...
- In your career, what traits do you have that make you enough? Perhaps you're creative or a strong listener or a quick learner?
- What things have you overcome and broken through? How has that made you better?
- What natural skills or abilities do you have that make you enough in different areas of your life?
I'll close with a couplet:
Loose pieces of time, loose pieces of time.
Keep healing these loose pieces of mine.
With love and healing,
Elan M. Carson
Author of The Willow Tree & The Millennial Mentality
TEDxCrenshaw Speaker
Oh, and I'm back on my personal account to mention to other curators that you've essentially verified your account on Twitter, in case anyone is wondering if it's really you behind this account. Sending in the info to Hive Watchers verification report as well, so they'll drop a comment here at some point soonish. 😊
Excellent! Thank you @traciyork! I appreciate it :)
Hello @elancarson85! This is @traciyork from the @ocd (Original Content Decentralized) curation team. We noticed you shared your first post here on Hive - congratulations and welcome! It's so awesome to see another writer here on the blockchain - and while it's not awesome that I've also struggled with depression, it's nice to be able to connect with others who are dealing with it as well. Oh, and I've followed you on my personal account as well so I can keep an eye open for your journal entries.
It would also be awesome if you could do an introduction post, so our community can get to know you better. For information on how to write an intro post, please check out the SELF INTRODUCTION section of the post 3 things Newbies should do in their first week on Hive.
Speaking of community, we have many different ones here on the blockchain, devoted to all kinds of interests. Here's a link so you can check them all out - Hive Communities. I see you've already found the Writing Club, and I think you'll enjoy these as well -
Scholar and Scribe (which is the one @dibblers.dabs mentioned on Twitter)
Freewriters Community
LeoFinance (for crypto related posts)
Also, as Hive can sometimes be quite confusing, the Newbies Guide should be helpful to you, as it is a growing repository of useful and easy to understand posts about how the Hive ecosystem works.
Please be aware that Hive is a bit different from other social media platforms since you are monetizing your blog, so it is important not to include content that you don't own without sources (and it shouldn't exceed 50% of the post). For more information, check this post - Why and How People Abuse and Plagiarise by hivewatchers.
Since you're new, you may run into an RC (Resource Credits) error when trying to comment/post because you don't yet have enough Hive in your account yet. For assistance with a temporary delegation to get you started, be sure to check out the Gift Giver site.
For now, @lovesniper will follow your account and we are looking forward to seeing your intro post. Also, please mention (also known as tagging) @traciyork & @lovesniper in your intro post in order for us to be notified, so we can consider your post for OCD curation. Lastly, feel free to hop into the OCD Discord server if you have any questions!
@TraciYork thank you for this incredible wellspring of info and your thoughtfulness in reaching out. I will get started on that introduction post on who I am. I'll make sure to tag you and @lovesniper once it's complete.
I also want to make sure I spend the appropriate amount of time going over all of the links you sent. I will be doing that this evening before my next post.
I truly appreciate the help and support, thus far! You rock!
So glad you got an account set up and posted! Welcome to Hive! I've delegated you some Hive Power to help you get started and would love to see some of your poetry and creative writing land over in the Scholar and Scribe community!
https://ecency.com/created/hive-199275
Of course there are lots of spaces to post to on Hive and lots to explore so if you have any questions just ask!
Thanks @dibblers.dabs! Your support has been incredible and I can't wait to post more, plus follow the Scholar and Scribe community. I appreciate the recommendation!
@elancarson85! The Hive.Pizza team manually curated this post.
Learn more at https://hive.pizza.
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I like your poetic expression in content and rhyme. Sometimes I try to write with these characteristics in English, but I find it difficult. In short, I am eminent and evidently a traditional poet in Spanish.
Thank you @lecumberre for your kind words and sweet remarks on my writing. If only I could understand Spanish, I'm sure I would be riveted by your poetic talent!
Hello.
The account has been verified:
https://hivewatchers.com/verifications?utf8=%E2%9C%93&verification%5Busername_search%5D=elancarson85
Thank you