The moment I pressed 'send’ I knew I had made a terrible mistake. I had just sent a text message to my ex-boyfriend, Peter, telling him I still had feelings for him. It was a weak moment for me, coupled with the fact that I had too many glasses of wine and a sad song playing on the radio.
As soon as I sent the message, I regretted it. Peter and I had a messy breakup five months ago because of a friend that called me. It was a misunderstanding on his side and he never wanted to hear my own side of the story.
I tried explaining to him that I had nothing to do with Dave. Dave is my childhood friend from my primary school days and we are just friends and nothing more. I explained all this to Peter but he never believed me. So he told me it was over between us, I thought he was joking but his actions towards me shows that he was serious.
I had to take everything in good fate and try to forget him. Until that day I had too many glasses of wine. I picked up my phone and messaged him. I had thought I was over him. But now as I waited for his response, I felt a knot of anxiety in my stomach.
What if he didn't feel the same way? What if he laughed at me or, worse, felt sorry for me? I couldn't bear the thought of being vulnerable and rejected.
It was too late, I can't undo what I've done. The message was sent, and all I could do was wait. I paced back and forth in my room, my phone clutched in my hand as I waited for Peter's response.
Finally, after what felt like eternity, my phone buzzed. I hesitated for a moment before opening the message. My heart sank as I read Peter's response.
“Hey I care about you deeply, but I don't feel the same way. I hope you can understand, but we can still be friends.”
I felt a wave of disappointment wash over me, followed by a sense of embarrassment. I had made a fool of myself, and now I have to deal with the consequences.
But as I sat there, feeling sorry for myself, I realized that I had learned something valuable. I had learned that it's okay to be vulnerable and to take risks. I also learnt that sometimes rejection can be a blessing in disguise.
I took a deep breath, wiped away my tears and began to move on. I knew that one day I would find someone who would love me for who I am and that this mistake would eventually become a distant memory.
Thank you all for reading.
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I am sure she will find her soulmate one day!